email frenzy

This is what happens when management is clueless on how to handle hard times....

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From: HMFIC for Engineering
To: Engineering Lackeys
Subject: Hawaiian Shirt / Bowling Shirt Day

Friday is Hawaiian Shirt / Bowling Shirt Day in Engineering.
Wear you wildest and craziest shirt to work. There will be prizes for the best shirts!!!
(Jeans are acceptable that day.)

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From: the REAR
To: ARoFW, ARC-WELD, Super DEAR
Subject: Hawaiian Shirt / Bowling Shirt Day

Is THIS for real?

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From: ARoFW
To: REAR, ARC-WELD, SuperDEAR


OMG! So is this managements pathetic attempt to stop the plummeting morale (which is due to the "no raises this year memo").
Who's the genius...Oh, I know how to make the fashion challenged engineers feel better. Let's have an ugly shirt contest and award prizes! It might not make the rank and file feel better, but it will give IT a boost because for that one day, someone will look less socially acceptable than them.
(oooh, was that too harsh?)

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From: SuperDEAR
To: REAR, ARoFW, ARC-WELD


It’s a tactic to get your mind off of: lack of promotions, reduced merit increases, and low moral. YEP – wearing a Hawaiian shirt and jeans should do it.

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From: ARoFW
To: REAR, ARC-WELD, SuperDEAR


I think someone should tell the short man... ARC-WELD, you're elected.

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From: ARC-WELD
To: ARoFW, REAR, SuperDEAR


Which short man are you referring to?

I think that the way that I interpreted that message was that we are encouraged to wear a Hawaian shirt and that the jeans are optional means that ARoFW should not wear pants that day.

All in favor?

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From: ARoFW
To: REAR, ARC-WELD, SuperDEAR


Now you're catch on, A-W. The real morale improvement comes from those who chose to wear optional jeans that day. Imagine how happy I can make engineering with just one trip through. But alas, I'm in sourcing and we weren't included in your memo. You'll have to use your imagination or meet me in the bathroom to swap undies.

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From: the REAR
To: ARoFW, ARC-WELD, Super DEAR

I wouldn’t do it A-W; I’d keep her drawers if I were you. Plus, you’ll never get them off this afternoon, through the laundry, and clean for next Friday anyway.

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From: the REAR
To: ARoFW, ARC-WELD, Super DEAR


Doesn’t “elected” imply a democratic voting process? I thought ARoFW’s dictated?

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From: ARoFW
To: REAR, ARC-WELD, SuperDEAR

Yeah, but when the ARoFW elects, it is done (just said like there might have been some democracy at work). That is the actual process here.

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From: the REAR
To: ARoFW, ARC-WELD, Super DEAR

So you’ve trademarked the words “democratic process” to stand for “whatever you decide”?

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From: ARoFW
To: REAR, ARC-WELD, SuperDEAR


I am the ARoFW. Oh and I go commando!

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From: the REAR
To: ARoFW, ARC-WELD, Super DEAR


Now THAT’s a morale booster!

Dammit! I forgot she’s not in Engineering!

Curses! I’m down again…

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From: ARC-WELD
To: ARoFW, REAR, SuperDEAR

Me too...we'll have to come up with another excuse as to why the "trade" in the bathroom takes so long...

AW

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Increase in moral - not obtained
decrease in dissatisfaction - not obtained
Increase in email activity and reduction in productivity - BINGO!

Origins of Tom Foolery...

So, I’ve been thinking about the phrase Tom Foolery and think I now know from whence it originated. Warning: this is not (I repeat NOT) a well researched (or researched at all) paper. It is my definition of a phrase… kind of like my theory last year why spring wouldn’t come. No facts to support my supposition but entertaining never the less.

So we all know Tom, Dick and Harry, or Cat guy 2, 3 and 4, or bf A, B, and C. Call ‘em what you like. But any way, Tom is first bf in the line but the split occurs. The relationship has been mourned and the time has come to move on. Along comes Dick. He’s everything Tom wasn’t and just so much better. He becomes the bf…for a bit. Then while he remaining Dick (too many puns, too little time), he becomes the ex-bf. In a moment of weakness, drunkenness, sheer stupidity – pick one or all three, you call/text/email Tom. You manage to become friends or at least remain on friendly terms.

But then along comes Harry and well, Harry is just all that and a bag of chips – Grandma Utz Handcooked…absolutely the best, most addictive chips on the face of the planet. So delicious. So delectable. You eat the whole bag when you know you shouldn't! Oh! where was I? Yes he is as yummy as those chips. And, life is fabulous! Then, IT occurs. Doesn’t really matter what IT is. IT could be the realization that Harry isn’t Hairy after all, but a bald man with a cheap toupee. IT could be that Harry has the emotional depth of a teaspoon and you’ve finally figured out it wasn’t just him moving slowly; he had made it to the bottom of his emotional well and it wasn’t even deep enough for your big toe. IT could be that Harry not only lacks conjones, but is the biggest puss you ever met, and for some reason, you had managed to over look that glaringly pathetic characteristic… until now. Any way, IT occurs, and Harry becomes the Hairless ex. This is the time when you are ripe for Tom Foolery.

“Tom, how’s it going? What have you been up to? Seeing anyone? Want me to fly across the Atlantic to come see you? That would be great!”

HELLO!!!! What are you thinking? Tom was kicked to the curb for a very good reason. Just because you can’t remember it now (time has passed, retarded boys have come and gone, memory of a goldfish) does not mean there wasn’t a good reason to dump his ass in the first place. But NOOOOOOO, you start this Tom Foolery. Oh, oh, but he writes the most charming emails and his voice is so very, very sexy. Yes, these are all the things that made you swoon in the first place. But, these things couldn’t over come what made you dump him…what was that? Dang, wish you could remember!

Yup, that’s the Tom Foolery. Instead of moving forward, looking for Mr. Right, you go back to Tom, fool around with him. You particpate in this foolery until you remember or find out again about his moodiness, wussiness, lack of emotions, what ever it was that made you move on!

Don’t feel bad sister, we’ve all participated in Tom Foolery. Why do you think there’s a name for it?!

Seven Random Things...

The whole taggin thing is too complicated for me to figure out...Ha! Gotta love a lazy Engineer. Anyway here it is....

Seven Random facts about Your's Truly (in no particular order - they're random after all)

1. I’m ADD, actually ADHD. I can’t stand to sit still. Mind wanders constantly. Only way to keep my feet and rear still is to move my hands. So I doodle when I’m required to stay seated for more than about 40 minutes. I can’t help it. I just don’t idle well!

2. I absolutely, positively love to travel. Proof is in the pudding…

• 30 states (including Alaska and Hawaii – not too interested in the Midwest)
• 16 different countries (inclucing Vatican City). Country number 17 this summer. I've visited 3 countries (Italy, Bahamas and Dominican Republic) twice and in May I'll visit the UK for a third time
• 5 of 7 continents (Australia will be number 6, not sure when, though).

3. I can be extremely shy, but once a person gets to know me they are amazed that I'm so extroverted. I gain my energy from being around other people… but it’s really difficult to get me to go out in the first place or to go where I don’t know anyone. I feel awkward in situations where I don’t know anyone. But, I never regrett meeting new people. You'd think I'd get over the phobia!

4. Three of my four grandparents lived to at least 89 years of age. I was very close with my fraternal grandparents…as I was lucky enough to grow up just down the street from them. I idolize my grandma and hope one day to be as wise, loving, kind and honest as she.

5. I have a bizarre (or should I say immature) sense of humor. I think it is funny to wind up all the wind up toys and watch them go…in whatever store I’m in. I think teaching my nieces and nephews to shoot paper straws and burp the ABCs is my “auntly” duty. And, I like making faces at people just to try and get them to laugh - epsecially if they are talking to someone who can't see me.

6. I love dogs and kids. I actually like dogs and kids better than I like most people. Dogs and kids are open, honest and genuine. It is obvious when they are happy to see you (jump up and down, giggle, wag tails) and they are almost always happy to see you. If they did something wrong to you (like tear up your plant, break your stuff) they display their genuine remorse and want to make it up to you. Most (adult) people aren’t like that.

7. I’m very candid…almost too much so. Guess that is why I like dogs and kids better than most people. They are candid too. I pretty much like to say what’s on my mind. I like to be an open book. Making people guess about my feelings and intentions takes up too much energy that could be spent on other things…like reading, photography, soccer, volleyball, poetry…

Oh wow, that’s seven. Good I did it.

Oh that reminds me. Don’t ever date someone that can’t tell you 7 random things about themselves. It means they aren’t forthcoming or are selfish or lazy or all 3. Any which way, steer clear, they’re just a disaster waiting to happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So tag, you're it. if you read this, post 7 random thoughts about yourself. You don't have to if you don't want to... I won't call you "not forthcoming", selfish or lazy. ;)

The Right thing...

I've done the right thing; I know I have...
so why do I feel so lousy?

We really weren't meant to be.
I would have never found true happiness in that relationship.
He wasn't who I thought he was when we first met.
And, I just kept making concessions until it became too much.

I hated that...
He needed to be drugged to go to sleep.
He was very uncouth, at times
He let certain people push him around.
As a result he let everyone he cared for down- especially me.

He actually walked out on me.
Then asked me (several times) to take him back.
But, he couldn't find the strength to do it face to face.
He was too weak.

This seems to be a reoccuring theme in my dating life.
Do I need a strength in a man that isn't possible?

Maybe that is why I'm feeling lousy.
It sucks to have "another one bite the dust".
It really sucks. I feel incompatible.

I really hate that I meet someone and think "wow!"
Then as time goes on, wow becomes, "oh, yeah"
And oh yeah becomes "oh no, not again!"

Do people really put on such a facade when they first meet?
What happened to that happy, strong, loving Christian that I first met.
How did he become depressed, weak, selfish and crass?

It just really sucks.
I really want to give up this whole search.
I'm tired of the disappointment.

I wish I didn't want to find someone so badly.
I wish I didn't dream of finding the one man who can make me smile on a bad day.
I wish I could be "in love" with one of my male friends who treat me like a princess.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

NEWSFLASH

"NEWSFLASH - ALL GUYS ARE SELFISH AND SELF CENTERED - We just need to learn to manipulate them or else we will be alone forever! Of course I have not a clue about how to do that - Our problem is we are too sensitive! "

This newsflash was brought to me by a long time very dear friend. And, part of me wonders how true is it. I mean I know most guys are selfish and self centered. And, I know most women believe they need to manipulate the men they are with . But, is it ALL? Is it really that bleak?

The hopeless romantic in me is searching long and hard for that guy who isn't selfish and self centered. Who will fall hopelessly in love with me and constantly "do" for me. Who will want to bring me flowers and expect nothing in return. Who likes to hang out with me because I'm charming, witty, intelligent and outrageously funny. Oh yeah, and he is available physically and emotionally. Am I really asking for too much? Am I being selfish in not wanting to be the mother for a grown man who can't cook for himself? Am I being selfish in not wanting to have to console and conjole for more than 10% of the time?

I feel like if I find the guy who adores me and treats me like a princess, then it will be so easy for me to do everything for him. I have a caretaker's personality. I like to care for other people. I'm just sick of doing it to the point that I am neglected. I don't want to have to ask for that backrub, for my hair to be stroked, to be told that I'm pretty (I am damn it!). I want him to want to do these things because he wants to, not because he feels obligated. To want to care for me the way I want to care for him.

Am I asking too much? Are all men just selfish lil' jerks? Am I truly gay because I want a man who's personality is like my roomie!

Does he really exist?????????????????????????

Escargot

The wall I built so long ago
It’s like a friend I’ve come to know
Faithful, true, always there
Makes it hard for me to care.

“Let go, be free, trust me”
Half truths, uncertainty is what I see

How can I drop this shell of mine
When you can’t cross the simple line
Questioning my thoughts and deeds
Confounded by my basic needs

“Let go, be free, trust me”
Half truths, uncertainty is what I see

Build a bridge of caring trust
The first plank hardest but will it rust
Partial effort is all I feel
How am I to make it real

“Let go, be free, trust me”
Half truths, uncertainty is what I see

I carry the shell I built so long ago
Protects me from the pain I know
Protects me from those who let me down
Keeps me going round and roun

Perpetual Motion

Do you know
What makes it go
Round and round and around
Never quite,
slowing down or speeding up

Do you feel
his breaking out
Of his word, of his vows and his oath
not a care,
in the world who he hurts.

Do you care
How she stares.
At the wall and the floor and the door
Wondering why,
oh why, am I here

Do you hear
my strange song
About the man and the girl and the boys
who walked away,
before they knew, who I was

Do you know
What makes it go
Round and round and around
Never quite slowing down or speeding up

Night time jabber

Wide awake while you sleep soundly
Mind a racing, heart a pounding.

Always seems to go your way
Don’t know why you ask to stay.

Can I make you understand
Exhaustion falls across the land.

Worlds collide and burst in flames
Nothing ever is the same.

To lie in peace and push up daisies
Makes the dream sound so crazy

Tears roll slowly down my face
While demons laugh at my chase

Arms too tired to fight you off
Fingers too weary to feel the cloth.

The moon and clouds are star struck
Makes me wonder what the fuck

Sorry for the profanity
Hide under the old oak tree.

Protection from the wind and rain
But leaves and nuts are a pain.

Wide awake while you sleep soundly
Mind a racing, heart a pounding.

Can I make you understand
Exhaustion falls across the land

You gave me butterflies

Just trying to catch up...

Thoughts on cat guy and dating. Remember cat guy number, uh, number maybe 4 or 5. He was really sweet from the mid-west and reminded me of PR. I think the reminding me of PR is why I had such affection for him. Maybe it was because he actually loved music as much as he claimed. The boy(I think man is more appropriate for him) knew ALOT about music. I was impressed...and, we all know it takes quite a bit for me to be impressed.

Any way, we all knew I was "dating around". I read that stupid book (not sure why I just called it stupid seeing as I've recommended it to 3 different people...but I'll leave it unedited) Mars and Venus Starting Over. It was a good book. But, it recommended "dating around" - not to be confused with sleeping around (thank goodness for that!). But, it said you should be dating in a 3 guy rotation...one on the way in, one current and one on the way out. don't look at me like that, I didn't write the stinkin book - just was foolish enough to take it's advice. So, cat guy 4or5, was the current guy. We chatted on the phone...more like he talked and I glazed over... but that is another one of my shortcomings...attention span of a goldfish...aka A.D.D! Any way, he loved photography and music as much as me. I didn't get a chance to see his studio...regret that one. Only had 2 dates with him. Seems like more, but must have been all the emails. Any way, I let him kiss me goodbye on date number 2. Not sure why.

Again, think the whole getting physical messes with my head too much. Starting to think those "extremely conservative" Christians are smarter than I used to give them credit for. Any way, it was a hug and a kiss. I did enjoy his company and I did have genuine affection for him and at the time, it seemed like a good idea... and alcohol didn't even come into play (once again proving I am absolutely, positively, without a doubt, capable of making bad decisions without the help of others!) Any way, as the story goes, i meet not a cat guy within a couple of days. This is when it gets complicated... well not really. It is pretty simple in my head. I like not a cat guy better and I need to cut loose cat guy 4or5. So, being the absolute coward that I am, I write an email. Yeah, yeah, but that was how we communicated 90% of the time, so that's my justification and I'm sticking to it. I was strong enought to tell him the truth (he knew I was dating more than one person).

Any way, he writes back, "I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm feeling pretty disappointed right now though. What can I say? You gave me butterflies." If it wasn't so plainly and sweetly written, I'd say, "low blow!" But, it wasn't meant to hurt. It was just the honest truth (or so I'd like to believe) and that is probably why it hurt so bad. I did really have affection for him because he is a really good person. I felt like a heel. I guess that is why I called the book stupid. If not a cat guy and I don't make it, I'm not listening to any stupid self-help book again. I will date only one guy at a time. It's less complicated. It is MUCH easier to break up with someone cuz they annoy me rather than because I like someone else better. Much easier!!

Questions remain

You’re beautiful, strong and smart.

I’m not strong, she says. When that coward struck the cord, its resonance shattered me. i built the shell which creates the façade of strength. While most don't look deeper, you peck holes that reveal the jigsaw puzzle within. Do you have the patience to pick up the pieces when they fall to the ground? More importantly do you have the perseverance to glue them together?

Wondering

In case anyone was wondering...I hate my new boss. I know hate is a strong word. But I really do. He is a constant source of aggrevation and unlike an effect boss, is useless when it comes to resolving conflicts.

I'm doomed!

Listen

I heard the call
But turned a deaf ear
Hoping it’d go away.

The whisper turned
Into a voice
Then He shouted in His way.

So kicking and screaming
He drug me there
Not understanding why

But He held me tight
And instilled His peace
As I wept the healing cry

You’d think I learn
Over the years
To listen to His call

Thankfully I am saved
Through His grace
Which He gives to us all