Last night was the fifth date in seven days. It was the first date with the Health Consultant. He was nice. Not nice in the kiss of death nice way that I usually say to C2 meaning he was nice but he’ll never put his paws on my body. But nice in the way of refreshing, down to earth, intelligent, interesting… he was nice to hang out with. He is 6’ tall (++), nice eyes and cute face (+). He was only a little dorky and a bit on edge - first dates with me do that to guys. I can always see it in their eyes when they meet me. Funny how that works. I wonder what they see in my eyes - probably not much. I’m not all that good at poker face during poker, but poker face otherwise…I got it down. Pissed off at the conference room table – upper echelon will never know. Ready to pounce on a co-worker – they never know til I’m done (poor unsuspecting blokes). A good or bad date – they rarely know what to think. Not that I do it on purpose. My demeaner is just a reflection of them, usually, I guess.
Any way, we had a lovely time chatting, eating and drinking. He’s got a lurid past that I won’t tell you about - to respect his privacy. Not that it is all that bad, but just something that bugs him- as it does everyone I know who is in that situation. But that isn’t my concern. His emotional health is. So, I wrote him today about it. He indicated I was right…friends first, take it slow, etc.
He’s pretty busy for the next several weeks. I’m not sure I feel like waiting around. Not sure his emotional instability is worth it. We do have a lot in common. He kind of is the male version of me in a Ying/Yang sort of way. He has a well developed feminine side without losing his masculinity. Flip the genders and that’s me. That’s what makes me want to wait. So, I guess I’ll keep emailing. I’m not that patient, though. I say I want to take things slow. But, I don't want to wait. Daddy, I want an Oompa-loompa and I want one NOW!!!!
I believe that attitude is what started the Abercrombie Itch search discussion!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
My Abercrombie Search.
I will be conducting my own American Idol search. We will call it the Abercrombie to Scratch my Itch search. This was not my idea but, I LOVE it, named it, and have embellished on it.
It started out innocently enough. I was telling M&M that I was tired of being in this draught. He explained to me that I needed a FB- knowing full well it’s not something my psyche can handle. He likes to taunt me! I told him FBs weren’t that easy to come by (pun intended as well!). So M&M comes up with the initial plan. He and my two BFF will conduct the search.
We have the perfect panel. R can be the cold hearted bitch who taunts the male contestants. No stretch for her as she does this on a regular basis. And, she derives great pleasure from it. She is our Simon. Then there is M&M, he just loves every guy I describe to him. Oh, he sounds nice, promising, etc. Are you excited about your date? He is just so sugary sweet and likes to shop. No he’s not gay but he’ll play one on TV. He’ll be my Paula. Then there is C2. She knows me like no one else. She’s level headed - knows when to plug her nose and say you stink. And knows when to give the sideways glance and say he’s fi-ine. She’ll be our Randy. It’s perfect. My panel is just as ethnically diverse. White man, wet back marine and a half-breed.
The first show will just be the men parading out however they dressed themselves. They get to answer one question. Simon will provide the questions on the fly. She’s witty, so there will be plenty of entertainment there. Paula can judge the answers…”oh he seems like he’s just so nice.” And Randy will checkout their bods. No biceps, no second show! Big belly, bye bye.
The second show will consist of some sort of conversation requirement. This one can be handled by Randy. She’ll be good at interviewing the guys. She can bring hubby in as a guest to try and make the guys more at ease. Simon will still be allowed to taunt them - especially if they start sounding pompous or too slick. Paula can pick out their clothes for that show and the next.
It started out innocently enough. I was telling M&M that I was tired of being in this draught. He explained to me that I needed a FB- knowing full well it’s not something my psyche can handle. He likes to taunt me! I told him FBs weren’t that easy to come by (pun intended as well!). So M&M comes up with the initial plan. He and my two BFF will conduct the search.
We have the perfect panel. R can be the cold hearted bitch who taunts the male contestants. No stretch for her as she does this on a regular basis. And, she derives great pleasure from it. She is our Simon. Then there is M&M, he just loves every guy I describe to him. Oh, he sounds nice, promising, etc. Are you excited about your date? He is just so sugary sweet and likes to shop. No he’s not gay but he’ll play one on TV. He’ll be my Paula. Then there is C2. She knows me like no one else. She’s level headed - knows when to plug her nose and say you stink. And knows when to give the sideways glance and say he’s fi-ine. She’ll be our Randy. It’s perfect. My panel is just as ethnically diverse. White man, wet back marine and a half-breed.
The first show will just be the men parading out however they dressed themselves. They get to answer one question. Simon will provide the questions on the fly. She’s witty, so there will be plenty of entertainment there. Paula can judge the answers…”oh he seems like he’s just so nice.” And Randy will checkout their bods. No biceps, no second show! Big belly, bye bye.
The second show will consist of some sort of conversation requirement. This one can be handled by Randy. She’ll be good at interviewing the guys. She can bring hubby in as a guest to try and make the guys more at ease. Simon will still be allowed to taunt them - especially if they start sounding pompous or too slick. Paula can pick out their clothes for that show and the next.
The third and final show will consist of ….you guessed it a talent portion. Yeah, we all know anyone who plays guitar will win! But, hopefully they’ll have a nice body, be dressed well and able to hold a conversation.
Then, we’ll have found my Abercrombie!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Four dates in five days
So, I've been on four dates, with four different guys, in five days. To see the first date - check out date number two with the Genius as outlined in the epilogue. I'm too lazy to write about it again.
So on Thursday, I was on date number two with...need a nickname here. Nick names are so hard to come up with. It's easier when my friends are around to do the job. The cold hearted bitch is so good at this! The fact that nothing stands out about his personality makes it even harder. Oh, Vanilla works. Plus, I like vanilla ice cream, so it isn't like it's derogatory. Vanilla was early and waiting for me at the pool table. He had already gotten a drink - shows confidence (+). I got a water. I needed to rehydrate as I was fresh from a work out - something C2 told me was not good. We played pool and at first I was very impressed and even intimidated by his playing. But it turned out that either he wasn't that good or he lowered his level of playing because I wont the second game. I was bored by the third game. I had only one beer and wasn't into playing. It's more fun with more people around or playing doubles. We had a nice time. No red flags. He was polite, payed for appetizers and the game. We decided to go out for sushi. He didn't mind when I was rude enough to take the call during dinner (+). I tried to keep it brief. He walked me to my car (+). A little kiss good night. No rockets, stares or excitement on my part. Probably because he's a little bit over weight. Not so much the body but in the face. I'm a face person. I like a guy with a pretty face and hard body. Lean is even good, as long as the face is pretty. But he doesn't have much of either. We had a lot of fun. We laughed alot. But there was no chemistry on my part - zip, zero, zilch, nada. Maybe it will build, maybe not. I'll have a couple more dates with him, but I'm afraid it will probably only lead to friendship. I know I'll like being his friend, though.
Friday night I had a first date with ADHD. I can't really think of a better name for him. He is definitely ADHD or gave that appearance, so works for me. I met him down town -where he lives, works and plays. He planned the whole evening (+). Traffic was non-existant, so I made it in record time. he wasn't there yet but I like wandering around the area - so I did. Then I called and he said he'd be right there. Hadn't expected me yet.
He shows up. Now why did I think he'd the 6' tall with big biceps. I gotta check my facts again. My brain must be fried. No...he was maybe 5'6" with average arms (-). But he did have a pretty face (+). He had a belly, too (-). He was very chatty - not sure if that one is a plus or a minus. I did have a lovely time with him. C2 aka my body guard was out of town for the weekend. He and I had a chat earlier about her wanting to keep tabs on me, how she likes to follow me around when I go on first dates, etc. Well, the funny part is while we were eating dinner, I saw my friend Amazon there. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to walk over and say hi. We hadn't chatted in a bit due to life getting in the way. So of course later, she stopped at our table to say bye (i.e. check him out). Then, when we were walking back to the coffee shop, another friend of mine went jogging by and yelled hi to me. I hadn't seen her in almost a year! I told him I had spies watching me every where I went. I have to wonder what he was thinking. I left the date by 9:30. Had to get home to attend to the pup but also was just exhausted by his energy -the issue with being around someone ADHD. Yeah I'll go out with him again. He has a good sense of humor and is intersting. Hopefully he'll mellow, though.
Tonight I had the fourth date in five days. It was a first date and a horrible dud. Lasted about 2 hours. He wasn't all that interesting, handsome or even worth applying a nickname too. Hopefully he won't call.
Big BBQ tomorrow. Oh and then date 5 in 7 days with yet another guy. One of these guys has to be cute, right????? Ugh! Back to drooling over Rising Sun and Marley at the gym. Oh, this one new guy talked to me on Thursday. He was tall and relatively cute and even looked like he might be close to my age. Plus, he plays volleyball. Damn, can't remember his name. That's okay, guys seem to like airhead rather than brilliant (hee hee) women like me.
I'm tired. Sleepy time. Til we chat again!
So on Thursday, I was on date number two with...need a nickname here. Nick names are so hard to come up with. It's easier when my friends are around to do the job. The cold hearted bitch is so good at this! The fact that nothing stands out about his personality makes it even harder. Oh, Vanilla works. Plus, I like vanilla ice cream, so it isn't like it's derogatory. Vanilla was early and waiting for me at the pool table. He had already gotten a drink - shows confidence (+). I got a water. I needed to rehydrate as I was fresh from a work out - something C2 told me was not good. We played pool and at first I was very impressed and even intimidated by his playing. But it turned out that either he wasn't that good or he lowered his level of playing because I wont the second game. I was bored by the third game. I had only one beer and wasn't into playing. It's more fun with more people around or playing doubles. We had a nice time. No red flags. He was polite, payed for appetizers and the game. We decided to go out for sushi. He didn't mind when I was rude enough to take the call during dinner (+). I tried to keep it brief. He walked me to my car (+). A little kiss good night. No rockets, stares or excitement on my part. Probably because he's a little bit over weight. Not so much the body but in the face. I'm a face person. I like a guy with a pretty face and hard body. Lean is even good, as long as the face is pretty. But he doesn't have much of either. We had a lot of fun. We laughed alot. But there was no chemistry on my part - zip, zero, zilch, nada. Maybe it will build, maybe not. I'll have a couple more dates with him, but I'm afraid it will probably only lead to friendship. I know I'll like being his friend, though.
Friday night I had a first date with ADHD. I can't really think of a better name for him. He is definitely ADHD or gave that appearance, so works for me. I met him down town -where he lives, works and plays. He planned the whole evening (+). Traffic was non-existant, so I made it in record time. he wasn't there yet but I like wandering around the area - so I did. Then I called and he said he'd be right there. Hadn't expected me yet.
He shows up. Now why did I think he'd the 6' tall with big biceps. I gotta check my facts again. My brain must be fried. No...he was maybe 5'6" with average arms (-). But he did have a pretty face (+). He had a belly, too (-). He was very chatty - not sure if that one is a plus or a minus. I did have a lovely time with him. C2 aka my body guard was out of town for the weekend. He and I had a chat earlier about her wanting to keep tabs on me, how she likes to follow me around when I go on first dates, etc. Well, the funny part is while we were eating dinner, I saw my friend Amazon there. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to walk over and say hi. We hadn't chatted in a bit due to life getting in the way. So of course later, she stopped at our table to say bye (i.e. check him out). Then, when we were walking back to the coffee shop, another friend of mine went jogging by and yelled hi to me. I hadn't seen her in almost a year! I told him I had spies watching me every where I went. I have to wonder what he was thinking. I left the date by 9:30. Had to get home to attend to the pup but also was just exhausted by his energy -the issue with being around someone ADHD. Yeah I'll go out with him again. He has a good sense of humor and is intersting. Hopefully he'll mellow, though.
Tonight I had the fourth date in five days. It was a first date and a horrible dud. Lasted about 2 hours. He wasn't all that interesting, handsome or even worth applying a nickname too. Hopefully he won't call.
Big BBQ tomorrow. Oh and then date 5 in 7 days with yet another guy. One of these guys has to be cute, right????? Ugh! Back to drooling over Rising Sun and Marley at the gym. Oh, this one new guy talked to me on Thursday. He was tall and relatively cute and even looked like he might be close to my age. Plus, he plays volleyball. Damn, can't remember his name. That's okay, guys seem to like airhead rather than brilliant (hee hee) women like me.
I'm tired. Sleepy time. Til we chat again!
Too busy
I've been too busy to write the addendum to the epilogue...4 dates in 5 days. But that will have to be another post for another day. So here's your addendum to the epilogue.
WTFChuck called. Yup indeed he did. Thursday night. I was on a date number two with yet to be nicknamed (that's the hardest part of blogging about my pathetic dating life). Any way, he called and I answered. I had to...I had to find out what pathetic excuse he had. You know you want to know...else you wouldn't still be reading right now...huh?
He claimed he hadn't listened to the voicemail I had left (see epilogue). I'm not so sure I believe him...I mean if i were blowing someone off, I'd listen to the voicemail prior to calling them back. But then again, I have an insatiable curiosity!! He said he was calling to apologize, said he was sorry for being a jerk...his words not mine. He said he had no good reason f r not calling - i t would just sound like a series of pathetic excuses if he tired. All he could say was he was sorry, he had acted like a jerk and it was okay if I never wanted to talk to him again. He just wanted to call and apologize. Prior to his call, I had told roomie the only excuses I'd take were that he had been in the hospital due to accident, natural disaster or a stabbing by his ex-wife. Other than that, there would be no forgiving him. But, I guess the fact that he actually grew a pair, called, apologized and didn't offer some lame excuse, softened me.
We talked for almost an hour. Mostly about his past...not an attempt to explain his behavior but just as an answer to my question. I can now understand his ostrich like behavior. It is his method of coping...hide his head in the sand. So we ended the conversation with his question to me...can I call you and still be friends? I said....yes. yeah, I'm a softie. He understands that friends means no kissing, no touching, no rearranging my schedule around him and if a cute guy asks me out, he gets trumped. It also means no expectations on my part - which I think is what he is looking for. I highly doubt I'll ever hear from him again, but "it's all good" by me.
He will still forever be called WTFchuck, though.
WTFChuck called. Yup indeed he did. Thursday night. I was on a date number two with yet to be nicknamed (that's the hardest part of blogging about my pathetic dating life). Any way, he called and I answered. I had to...I had to find out what pathetic excuse he had. You know you want to know...else you wouldn't still be reading right now...huh?
He claimed he hadn't listened to the voicemail I had left (see epilogue). I'm not so sure I believe him...I mean if i were blowing someone off, I'd listen to the voicemail prior to calling them back. But then again, I have an insatiable curiosity!! He said he was calling to apologize, said he was sorry for being a jerk...his words not mine. He said he had no good reason f r not calling - i t would just sound like a series of pathetic excuses if he tired. All he could say was he was sorry, he had acted like a jerk and it was okay if I never wanted to talk to him again. He just wanted to call and apologize. Prior to his call, I had told roomie the only excuses I'd take were that he had been in the hospital due to accident, natural disaster or a stabbing by his ex-wife. Other than that, there would be no forgiving him. But, I guess the fact that he actually grew a pair, called, apologized and didn't offer some lame excuse, softened me.
We talked for almost an hour. Mostly about his past...not an attempt to explain his behavior but just as an answer to my question. I can now understand his ostrich like behavior. It is his method of coping...hide his head in the sand. So we ended the conversation with his question to me...can I call you and still be friends? I said....yes. yeah, I'm a softie. He understands that friends means no kissing, no touching, no rearranging my schedule around him and if a cute guy asks me out, he gets trumped. It also means no expectations on my part - which I think is what he is looking for. I highly doubt I'll ever hear from him again, but "it's all good" by me.
He will still forever be called WTFchuck, though.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Epilogue
So I beat the heck out of the heavy bag at the gym. Many years ago, I was a brown belt in karate. I haven’t bothered with it much in the past few years. But, I needed a way to get out of my system the irritation with being treated so disrespectfully. I had lifted (biceps and triceps) and started running on elliptical machine. But it wasn’t enough. So I got off the machine and walked up to the bag. We bowed, we “uhsed” (Japanese word of respect), and we kicked the shit out of each other. Okay so I beat the hell out of the bag, it just took the beating (at the time, but had a sneaky way of making me feel like it beat me up the next morning). I was impressed with how good my flexibility, technique and strength were after all these years. I’m tough; I’m bad, that’s right. So, after about 10-15 minutes, I felt better. Well, not sure better is the word, more like so flippin exhausted, the anger was gone. This was Tuesday night. As of Wednesday, I was over it.
Last night, I went out on a second date with the Genius. You know he’s got to be one if I call him one. We went hiking in the rain. He’s a real interesting fella - seems gay to me, though. His brother is, so there is the genetic possibility. [Side note: one of these days they’ll bother to look for the gene and declare it is innate!] But, still, I think he is or has very gay tendencies. And, I’m pretty sure he’s after only one thing, though - my prized bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that received a 95 by wine spectator. Okay, so he told me that he doesn’t want me to think that is true but his eyes lit up when I told him I had brought it back with me from my visit to Chile. I would consider sharing - as it’s nice that he’s the type to appreciate it, but he’s going to have to prove he’s worth it!
So, when I got home, C2’s bf (hubby) changed Good Luck Chuck’s name to what the f*k Chuck. Hubby was more disgusted at WTFchuck’s behavior than I was. His indignation was far greater than mine. He ranted and raved about how he couldn’t believe this guy was such a dirt bag. He had thought the guy was more respectable than that. How could he have misjudged the guy so badly? WTFchuck made his whole gender look bad. He acted like a puss. The rant lasted for at least five minutes. Absolutely adorable he was so upset for me. This is why we love the hubby so much!!!
So what happened this morning? Well see, I’d like to blame this on hubby but I think he just vocalized what I was thinking. So, I vocalized what I was thinking. Yeah, I did it. I called and left WTFchuck a voicemail. I know, I know, I know better! I wish I had recorded it so I could transcribe it for you, though. Actually, I wish I had written it out eloquently so I could have GMAT words he’d have to look up (he doesn’t have a degree). But, it was the spur of the moment, before walking into the bunker (where I have no reception) decision…the worst kind! But as you read this, remember tone is everything and I kept my tone chipper. I call and say…Hi it’s C1, but you know that as you’re ignoring me. At first, I was worried something happened to you. Then, I realized this was your way of dumping me. And, I think it’s crap. It’s not like you broke my heart or anything. But you could have called and said, hey not interested in seeing you any more because of, well whatever, make something up. You don’t go putting your paws all over a girl, call her, talk for an hour, ask her out and then ignore her calls back. It’s so disrespectful. An honorable person doesn’t do that….then I said something about growing or getting a pair but can’t remember how that came out. But it did end with okay, so I’m glad I got that off my chest. I feel better now. Take care. Bye bye.
And, I do feel better. I mean it’s not like I ever want to be with a guy who lacks the bullocks to call, text or email a girl and say, “hey, not interested any more. Have a good one.” Seems a bit too much like the cowardly ex…you know? So, yeah, I feel like I dodged a bullet! Not sure if he’ll see me as a bitter woman and I’d hate to think that he is so arrogant that he thought I was gaa gaa over him. I hadn’t found the deal breaker… yet. But, I’m sure it was there.
Mother’s don’t let you boys grow up to be pansies! I think it’s a country song in the making….hmmmmm….
So, when I head to the gym today, I wonder how many of the guys who saw me sparring with the heavy bag (Tuesday) are going to be all hot and bothered by me. Do guys like a woman with a temper who might well kick their ass? Probably not. They’ll all be to afraid to look at me. Ha!!!!
Last night, I went out on a second date with the Genius. You know he’s got to be one if I call him one. We went hiking in the rain. He’s a real interesting fella - seems gay to me, though. His brother is, so there is the genetic possibility. [Side note: one of these days they’ll bother to look for the gene and declare it is innate!] But, still, I think he is or has very gay tendencies. And, I’m pretty sure he’s after only one thing, though - my prized bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that received a 95 by wine spectator. Okay, so he told me that he doesn’t want me to think that is true but his eyes lit up when I told him I had brought it back with me from my visit to Chile. I would consider sharing - as it’s nice that he’s the type to appreciate it, but he’s going to have to prove he’s worth it!
So, when I got home, C2’s bf (hubby) changed Good Luck Chuck’s name to what the f*k Chuck. Hubby was more disgusted at WTFchuck’s behavior than I was. His indignation was far greater than mine. He ranted and raved about how he couldn’t believe this guy was such a dirt bag. He had thought the guy was more respectable than that. How could he have misjudged the guy so badly? WTFchuck made his whole gender look bad. He acted like a puss. The rant lasted for at least five minutes. Absolutely adorable he was so upset for me. This is why we love the hubby so much!!!
So what happened this morning? Well see, I’d like to blame this on hubby but I think he just vocalized what I was thinking. So, I vocalized what I was thinking. Yeah, I did it. I called and left WTFchuck a voicemail. I know, I know, I know better! I wish I had recorded it so I could transcribe it for you, though. Actually, I wish I had written it out eloquently so I could have GMAT words he’d have to look up (he doesn’t have a degree). But, it was the spur of the moment, before walking into the bunker (where I have no reception) decision…the worst kind! But as you read this, remember tone is everything and I kept my tone chipper. I call and say…Hi it’s C1, but you know that as you’re ignoring me. At first, I was worried something happened to you. Then, I realized this was your way of dumping me. And, I think it’s crap. It’s not like you broke my heart or anything. But you could have called and said, hey not interested in seeing you any more because of, well whatever, make something up. You don’t go putting your paws all over a girl, call her, talk for an hour, ask her out and then ignore her calls back. It’s so disrespectful. An honorable person doesn’t do that….then I said something about growing or getting a pair but can’t remember how that came out. But it did end with okay, so I’m glad I got that off my chest. I feel better now. Take care. Bye bye.
And, I do feel better. I mean it’s not like I ever want to be with a guy who lacks the bullocks to call, text or email a girl and say, “hey, not interested any more. Have a good one.” Seems a bit too much like the cowardly ex…you know? So, yeah, I feel like I dodged a bullet! Not sure if he’ll see me as a bitter woman and I’d hate to think that he is so arrogant that he thought I was gaa gaa over him. I hadn’t found the deal breaker… yet. But, I’m sure it was there.
Mother’s don’t let you boys grow up to be pansies! I think it’s a country song in the making….hmmmmm….
So, when I head to the gym today, I wonder how many of the guys who saw me sparring with the heavy bag (Tuesday) are going to be all hot and bothered by me. Do guys like a woman with a temper who might well kick their ass? Probably not. They’ll all be to afraid to look at me. Ha!!!!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Good Luck Chuck
The Final chapter on the New Guy...
So he texts and calls on Monday. Seems genuinely interested in me and my well being (+). We chatted for about ½ hour, maybe more. At the end of the conversation he asked me about getting together on either Wed. or Thursday, as he had a yoga lesson the next day (Tuesday). I told him I wanted to check my schedule but I would send him an email the next day. When I went to send him an email, I saw he had sent me an email at 9:20 a.m. – a forward of something he had mentioned to me. I sent the email around noon time, telling him I was open both days and to let me know what was up. No response the rest of the day. I thought maybe he wasn’t picking up email so I sent a text around 4:30 p.m. Figured we had been calling, texting and had sucked face for about 3 hours on Sunday so, I wasn’t being too pushy, right? I mean he asked me first.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention. Around noon time yesterday, I went out on the website where we met to check out some information on him. I couldn’t remember how long he had said he was separated and his mention of fighting with the ex didn’t jive with the time frame I had remembered. Lo and behold, he had just been on the site less than 6 hours earlier! What??? I was pretty bummed about it, but tried not to jump to conclusions til 10 p.m. and he hadn’t responded.
Then the light bulb turned on. Oh, so he had his first yoga lesson…he didn’t say class but lesson and he was on the website for active people to meet other active people that morning. Ding, ding, ding… He ignored setting up a date with me all day because he wanted to see how his date with the yoga instructor went. I know the game too f-ing well!
So I tell my bestest friends in the whole wide world about my epiphany last night. They don’t think I’m being paranoid or jumping to conclusions. Else, they love me too much to expose my paranoia (will destroy ya).
So at 7 a.m. when I hadn’t heard from him on either email or text, I figured his date with Yoga woman went well enough to not bother with me any more. And, being the patheic little man he is, he didn’t have the balls to let me know. It is really so sad when guys act like little girls! Just own up to it, be honest or lie. But not respondin to someone that you asked to contact you - absolutely pathetic, pathetic, pathetic little man!
No I didn’t text him that. I did text, “Good morning. Assuming your lack of response indicates you are bailing. It was nice hanging out with you. :)” As of 1335 (note the military time there C2) on Wednesday, no reply. So long Good Luck Chuck.
Oh yeah, didn’t mention that, yet. Last night when I was telling the story, Rachie, bless her heart, says, “you talking about Good Luck Chuck?” Good luck Chuck? “Yeah, that’s what I nicknamed him when I met him. He’s definitely not good looking enough for you and figured he wouldn’t last too long. So, Good Luck Chuck!” Ha.
Have I mentioned lately how much I absolutely adore my friends? I don’t need no stinkingbadges , men. Well, I do miss that three letter word sooo, sooo, soooo very much, though!
So he texts and calls on Monday. Seems genuinely interested in me and my well being (+). We chatted for about ½ hour, maybe more. At the end of the conversation he asked me about getting together on either Wed. or Thursday, as he had a yoga lesson the next day (Tuesday). I told him I wanted to check my schedule but I would send him an email the next day. When I went to send him an email, I saw he had sent me an email at 9:20 a.m. – a forward of something he had mentioned to me. I sent the email around noon time, telling him I was open both days and to let me know what was up. No response the rest of the day. I thought maybe he wasn’t picking up email so I sent a text around 4:30 p.m. Figured we had been calling, texting and had sucked face for about 3 hours on Sunday so, I wasn’t being too pushy, right? I mean he asked me first.
Oh yeah, forgot to mention. Around noon time yesterday, I went out on the website where we met to check out some information on him. I couldn’t remember how long he had said he was separated and his mention of fighting with the ex didn’t jive with the time frame I had remembered. Lo and behold, he had just been on the site less than 6 hours earlier! What??? I was pretty bummed about it, but tried not to jump to conclusions til 10 p.m. and he hadn’t responded.
Then the light bulb turned on. Oh, so he had his first yoga lesson…he didn’t say class but lesson and he was on the website for active people to meet other active people that morning. Ding, ding, ding… He ignored setting up a date with me all day because he wanted to see how his date with the yoga instructor went. I know the game too f-ing well!
So I tell my bestest friends in the whole wide world about my epiphany last night. They don’t think I’m being paranoid or jumping to conclusions. Else, they love me too much to expose my paranoia (will destroy ya).
So at 7 a.m. when I hadn’t heard from him on either email or text, I figured his date with Yoga woman went well enough to not bother with me any more. And, being the patheic little man he is, he didn’t have the balls to let me know. It is really so sad when guys act like little girls! Just own up to it, be honest or lie. But not respondin to someone that you asked to contact you - absolutely pathetic, pathetic, pathetic little man!
No I didn’t text him that. I did text, “Good morning. Assuming your lack of response indicates you are bailing. It was nice hanging out with you. :)” As of 1335 (note the military time there C2) on Wednesday, no reply. So long Good Luck Chuck.
Oh yeah, didn’t mention that, yet. Last night when I was telling the story, Rachie, bless her heart, says, “you talking about Good Luck Chuck?” Good luck Chuck? “Yeah, that’s what I nicknamed him when I met him. He’s definitely not good looking enough for you and figured he wouldn’t last too long. So, Good Luck Chuck!” Ha.
Have I mentioned lately how much I absolutely adore my friends? I don’t need no stinking
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
New Guy continued...
Date three:
Texted him when I got on the train on my way home from NYC on Sunday. I asked about the weather in MD, as I might go for a walk on the trolley trail. He said it was raining off and on and asked for me to check with my body guard to see if it was acceptable for him to join. Very cute. She begrudgingly agreed.
When we arrived back home, he told me the weather was bad but was I hungry…I’d need to eat right? He’s good. You gotta give him that. Any way, I invited him up for pizza with us. He might as well be subjected to my favorite food and the usual goings about on Sunday at my place. It was just roomie, her BF, and me…not the usual additional crowd. He seemed to fit in well. He liked the pizza or at least pretended to. (+) He and c2’s bf got along really well. (+) He kisses very well and has magic hands (+++). I decided it is best not to be left alone with him for the next few dates to keep the physical down to a minimum.
I like him a lot. So based on my luck, he’s f-ed up in some way or another. He’s emotionally unavailable, just wanting a “transition relationship”, just wanting sex, hiding some extreme flaw or another. There is something wrong. Just a matter of time til we find it!
But, until then, I really like him. This is so NOT good!
Texted him when I got on the train on my way home from NYC on Sunday. I asked about the weather in MD, as I might go for a walk on the trolley trail. He said it was raining off and on and asked for me to check with my body guard to see if it was acceptable for him to join. Very cute. She begrudgingly agreed.
When we arrived back home, he told me the weather was bad but was I hungry…I’d need to eat right? He’s good. You gotta give him that. Any way, I invited him up for pizza with us. He might as well be subjected to my favorite food and the usual goings about on Sunday at my place. It was just roomie, her BF, and me…not the usual additional crowd. He seemed to fit in well. He liked the pizza or at least pretended to. (+) He and c2’s bf got along really well. (+) He kisses very well and has magic hands (+++). I decided it is best not to be left alone with him for the next few dates to keep the physical down to a minimum.
I like him a lot. So based on my luck, he’s f-ed up in some way or another. He’s emotionally unavailable, just wanting a “transition relationship”, just wanting sex, hiding some extreme flaw or another. There is something wrong. Just a matter of time til we find it!
But, until then, I really like him. This is so NOT good!
Monday, May 19, 2008
The new guy
First date was Tuesday last week. I worked out and he went for a run. We met in a city near me (about 15 miles from him) for BBQ. He called 10 minutes before the date. With my dismal history, I was expecting him to be doing the last minute cancel or to say he was running late. I was about 5 minutes from the restaurant and it was only 10 minutes from my house so it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But, I had cut my time at the gym, so I would have been annoyed. But, he was just calling to say his phone battery was about to die and he was already there. His first plus!
I was hungry and said I was thinking of ordering ribs – told him so. He said he’d order them too, so I wouldn’t get messy all by myself. Woo hoo – gotta love a guy that lets me eat! Plus number two. He picked up the tab without hesitation – plus number 3 (thanks to you R and B on this! It has now become a plus or minus criteria!!!)
The conversation was great. He’s a smart guy and has done some traveling. He likes to see natural sites like I do. The conversation was excellent and we stayed til the restaurant closed. Then we walked to the bookstore to talk some more and stayed til they kicked us out of there. I really didn’t want the night to end, but it was a school night, so I went home with a good night kiss and a promise from him he’d call. Plus, the neurotic body guard was already getting all anxious with my whereabouts and phoning in.
Wednesday…he did call - another plus. We chatted for a bit and the topic of the weekend came up. I was leaving on Saturday for the weekend away. Since I really wanted to see him again, I suggested we get together after the graduation ceremony I was going to on Friday evening. He was down with it.
2nd date on Friday. I picked the good Mexican restaurant in my town. Not the big popular one with high prices and mediocre food but the hole in the wall joint with fabulous food and good margaritas. He was early again. Had gotten us a table and already ordered me a water (+). He either really liked the chimichanga or he lied about the food (+). Again the conversation was excellent and he picked up the tab (+).
I was meeting the girls for drinks after and he was into going out with us. My thoughts, “This could end badly but it’s best to know now than later, right?” So, he came with to the favorite watering hole. On the way there I asked if he drank... “No.” Dang– the first minus. Not that I drink a lot, but to be with a teetotaler…especially with my drunk-ass friends! Ha, my friends aren’t drunks, but still we like to have one or two every once in awhile. He said he didn’t mind being around it. So guess we can change the plus to a neutral, especially if he turns into my DD. Ha! Any way, we sit down and I glance out the window to see C2 bounding across the street. “oh sh*t, this could be bad,” I thought. She comes in and announces she had already had 3 glasses of wine and it was time to celebrate her graduation. Yup, this is going to be bad. But he didn’t seem to mind. R came in and they got along too or so it seemed. (+). It’s really important that he can hang with my bestest friends in the world. I will never, ever, ever, ever give them up for a boy. The evening ended well and he told me he liked the girls and to call him when I got back from NYC.
He texted me on Sat. morning telling me to have a good time. (+) I texted him on the way back on Sunday. [Oh, you want to know about the bachelorette party on Saturday. Dang, I should post some pictures…maybe I will.]
We texted for a bit about our weekends and I told him I was in desparate need of a hike or walk. I was pretty hung and needed to get some exercise in. He invited himself along and after getting the neurotic body guard’s approval, I said yes. Stay tuned for our next installment… date number three.
I was hungry and said I was thinking of ordering ribs – told him so. He said he’d order them too, so I wouldn’t get messy all by myself. Woo hoo – gotta love a guy that lets me eat! Plus number two. He picked up the tab without hesitation – plus number 3 (thanks to you R and B on this! It has now become a plus or minus criteria!!!)
The conversation was great. He’s a smart guy and has done some traveling. He likes to see natural sites like I do. The conversation was excellent and we stayed til the restaurant closed. Then we walked to the bookstore to talk some more and stayed til they kicked us out of there. I really didn’t want the night to end, but it was a school night, so I went home with a good night kiss and a promise from him he’d call. Plus, the neurotic body guard was already getting all anxious with my whereabouts and phoning in.
Wednesday…he did call - another plus. We chatted for a bit and the topic of the weekend came up. I was leaving on Saturday for the weekend away. Since I really wanted to see him again, I suggested we get together after the graduation ceremony I was going to on Friday evening. He was down with it.
2nd date on Friday. I picked the good Mexican restaurant in my town. Not the big popular one with high prices and mediocre food but the hole in the wall joint with fabulous food and good margaritas. He was early again. Had gotten us a table and already ordered me a water (+). He either really liked the chimichanga or he lied about the food (+). Again the conversation was excellent and he picked up the tab (+).
I was meeting the girls for drinks after and he was into going out with us. My thoughts, “This could end badly but it’s best to know now than later, right?” So, he came with to the favorite watering hole. On the way there I asked if he drank... “No.” Dang– the first minus. Not that I drink a lot, but to be with a teetotaler…especially with my drunk-ass friends! Ha, my friends aren’t drunks, but still we like to have one or two every once in awhile. He said he didn’t mind being around it. So guess we can change the plus to a neutral, especially if he turns into my DD. Ha! Any way, we sit down and I glance out the window to see C2 bounding across the street. “oh sh*t, this could be bad,” I thought. She comes in and announces she had already had 3 glasses of wine and it was time to celebrate her graduation. Yup, this is going to be bad. But he didn’t seem to mind. R came in and they got along too or so it seemed. (+). It’s really important that he can hang with my bestest friends in the world. I will never, ever, ever, ever give them up for a boy. The evening ended well and he told me he liked the girls and to call him when I got back from NYC.
He texted me on Sat. morning telling me to have a good time. (+) I texted him on the way back on Sunday. [Oh, you want to know about the bachelorette party on Saturday. Dang, I should post some pictures…maybe I will.]
We texted for a bit about our weekends and I told him I was in desparate need of a hike or walk. I was pretty hung and needed to get some exercise in. He invited himself along and after getting the neurotic body guard’s approval, I said yes. Stay tuned for our next installment… date number three.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Risin' Sun - first encounter
So I got up the nerve to talk to Risin’ Sun. It was a couple days before I took off for the UK foolery. I finally decided my crush had gotten too large to ignore and I had to find out how old he was. I had thought about how to do it so he didnt' suspect I was only trying to find out how old he was. I think I anaged to make myself proud for the sly way I did it!
So I didn’t have the powers that liquid courage usually required for just such occasions. I finally had to just bite the bullet and go talk to him. I had found out he was friendly when I asked him to move the 85lb weight for me. So, I knew he wouldn’t be rude.
So, I went up and asked him about lifting. I asked how often he did it. Then when he started? Was he as big then, how old was he when he started? Did he have any long breaks? He told me he had been lifting for 6 years. Then the question of the age…. He gave me an age that I thought was when he started. A quick mathematical calculation and yes! He is one year above my cut off age. My elation lasted about 0.5 seconds because then he said, “so that made me XX when I started.” I hope he didn’t see the disappointment in my face when I realized he was 5 years under the limit. Major suckage!! (Yeah, yeah, suckage isn’t a word, but it is so appropriate here; don’t you think?)
Any way, we chatted for a bit more... this time about my big, beautiful muscles…okay, about what I should do to improve my muscles, etc. He is a really nice guy and up close, he’s much bigger than I realized. Damn, I want to rest my head on those beautiful pectoral muscles and have him through me about with his big huge biceps. Snap out of it! What is my fascination with big muscles???? It can’t be right!
Any way, I saw him one last time before I went to UK for the foolery. He actually smiled at me and said hi. Dang, did I mention how sweet he is??? But alas, the age rule were set for my protection (only). I must not violate them. I will not violate them. Why did I set those stupid limits up again???????????
So I didn’t have the powers that liquid courage usually required for just such occasions. I finally had to just bite the bullet and go talk to him. I had found out he was friendly when I asked him to move the 85lb weight for me. So, I knew he wouldn’t be rude.
So, I went up and asked him about lifting. I asked how often he did it. Then when he started? Was he as big then, how old was he when he started? Did he have any long breaks? He told me he had been lifting for 6 years. Then the question of the age…. He gave me an age that I thought was when he started. A quick mathematical calculation and yes! He is one year above my cut off age. My elation lasted about 0.5 seconds because then he said, “so that made me XX when I started.” I hope he didn’t see the disappointment in my face when I realized he was 5 years under the limit. Major suckage!! (Yeah, yeah, suckage isn’t a word, but it is so appropriate here; don’t you think?)
Any way, we chatted for a bit more... this time about my big, beautiful muscles…okay, about what I should do to improve my muscles, etc. He is a really nice guy and up close, he’s much bigger than I realized. Damn, I want to rest my head on those beautiful pectoral muscles and have him through me about with his big huge biceps. Snap out of it! What is my fascination with big muscles???? It can’t be right!
Any way, I saw him one last time before I went to UK for the foolery. He actually smiled at me and said hi. Dang, did I mention how sweet he is??? But alas, the age rule were set for my protection (only). I must not violate them. I will not violate them. Why did I set those stupid limits up again???????????
I'm with Denise - ALL the way!
What are you doing to make yourself happy? My ex-step-father-in-law asked me. He went on to ask if I were dating and told me he wanted me to be happy. I stammered through a response. I exercise, play sports, have a lot of friends, am involved in church; my life is full. I’m not unhappy. And yeah, I’m dating but not finding much out there, etc. He genuinely cares for me and worries about my well being. So, I know he wasn’t giving lip service and I wanted to give him an honest answer.So, it got me thinking. I am not unhappy. Does that make me happy by default? I like my life the way it is. Good job -with a mildly annoying boss, great friends, enough money, time to do what I want. I’ve had my kid and don’t need a man. I'd like to have a partner, but I have the time/right to be picky. I refuse to settle for a guy, any guy, just to have one and not be alone.
On the plane back from Tom Foolery, I watched p.s. I love you. Yep, that’s right, I decided to lift the ban on unrealistic, sappy-ass, love stories. The movie was touching. [side note: I balled my eyes out most of the way through it. Maybe I really needed that cathartic cry because I do feel so much better since I got home.] But, Lisa Kudrow’s character, Denise, made a speech that I absolutely love. I will bastardize it and make it my mantra. Not that it should be bastardized; just that I recognize my weaknesses and know how pathetic my attention to detail can be! Her speech is brought on by a married man being annoyed with her acting like men are meat. He says to her, "You know, Denise, that's why you're not married. Women act like men. Then they complain men don't want them.” An appropriate response to such a stinging comment is a smack across the face, at minimum. But, her response was so much better…
“Oh, is that why? 'Cause I thought it was something different. I thought that it was 'cause I deserved the best and he's out there. He's just with all the wrong women. And let me be clear. After CENTURIES of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the *DIVINE* right to stare at a man's BACKSIDE with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!”
Yup, love that quote! He's out there! I have the right to treat men like the yummy treats they are (like rising sun and marley...oh yeah, owe you a blog or two on that). And most of all, yes Bob, I am happy.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
She's Back!!!!!
“Just get your ticket and come over. I’ll take care of the rest.” That’s how the Tom Foolery started…emphasis on foolery! Why was I so naïve foolish to believe him? He is so into “looking” fashionable and having nice things, but so cheap when it comes to spending money on a woman! Yep, it’s going to be that type of blog! I wrote it, by hand, in Heathrow airport.
Leading up to the trip, there were many phone calls (on his part) to me telling me how excited he was to have me, how he couldn’t wait to see me, missed me and even the “l” word. None of which I responded to all that much, but it did get my hopes up. Maybe this trip would show me that the break up was a mistake…ha!
I arrive and things start out well. He had even made up the extra bedroom to prove to me that he wasn’t expecting anything from me…else it was a ruse. You’ll have to decide. I unpacked and took forever to get ready to go out…only because I couldn’t find anything. But, we went into Windsor and started the tour with a pub. I was hungry and so was he. He bought lunch and beers and said, “you can get the next round.” You could have heard the tires screeching in my head at that point. What, but didn’t you say…”I’ll take care of the rest.” WTF??? Any way, we eat and explore the area. I enjoyed the day immensely. He even cooked me dinner and turned down my request to help.
Day two we go into London and it is there that his attitude started. They didn’t take credit cards for purchases under 10 pounds and two beers were never above that. I bought lunch that day. But he still bitched about having to buy me beer. Cheap ass bastard! I did have fun despite his whiny cheap ass behavior. I drank too much, too.
The third day I was hung over big time. We talk a walk along the river in Windsor and decided to go for a drive to a pub in the country. When we go there, I couldn’t bear the thought of drinking. I had a ginger ale. He ordered a pint and the tab can to less than four pounds. The minimum was 5. I had planned on just paying it and telling the bartender to keep the change – just to keep him from whining. But he paid for it and bitched. My soda cost less than a half a pound. What f-ing bioche!!!!!!! I spent 50 lbs on a curry dinner that night to shut his whiny ass up!
I wonder if he realizes how unappealing it makes him. Even more so is his thinking that he is so worldly and cultured. He isn’t even close. He is so egocentric – if it isn’t London fashionable, then it isn’t fashionable. If you can’t eat as much food as him (considering I’m at least 50 lbs lighter!), then there is something wrong with you. If you aren’t him, then you aren’t right. There is no such thing as “acceptable’ difference. It is his way or the highway! It is funny that he sees himself as charming. But he didn’t understand why I had said he is charming when he tries! I think it insulted him. I believe real charm goes beyond being charming to get what you want. I wonder if being an Indian in the UK gave him an inferiority complex. His reason for being an arrogant, holier than thou, consumed with materialistic goods, putz. Definitely not me!
I figured it all out on the first day. He knew all the “lovely” pubs. Yes, it’s nice to go out for a drink and food, but that seemed like it was the extent of his leisure time. Hmmm.. Then, when we were in London (day 2) and he was bitching about me not exchanging money (hadn’t been afforded the opportunity), I was sure we couldn’t be bf and gf. You just don’t treat a guest, friend or someone you care about like that. I couldn’t stand his stinginess.
He actually thinks he will be a good dad! With his intent on looking good, having the best of things and being so self-centered, there is no way he would make of a good dad. He never approves of anything anyone else does. Those poor kids would be so messed up – they would have no self-esteen. Funny how I didn’t remember what a jerk he can be!
I guess I thought the issues we had when we were together was from the time – me being sensitive and having low self-esteem coming out of my divorce and him still hurting from his divorce. But it wasn’t. He is just a demanding, unrelenting ass who doesn’t care how rude or how much of a jerk he can be.
Oh and he has no sense of humor, either. I can’t believe how horrible it was to try and crack a joke with him. He only liked poking fun at other people. I thought most people out grew that after teens or at least by the time they were 30! Apparently not him, nor his friends.
On the fourth day, I woke up in a good mood, over my hangover, trying to be cheerful and make conversation. He was miserable – such a moody person. He changed plans and instead of staying in the south, he wanted to drive back to Windsor that day. Then he was too cheap to pay for a ticket (6.50) to go into Stonehenge with me…AWESOME by the way. 3000 years old, maintained for 1500 years. And yep, I got to see it!!!! Woo hoo! There was an awesome audo tour (head phones) but I was too afraid to listen to the whole thing because he’d yell I had taken too long. I realized I had become afraid to speak, afraid to move under his constant eye and sharp tongue. What a horrible way to live! We then went to the seaside. I got some sun as we drove with the op down of his porche boxter. Nice car but I was terrified I’d do something wrong and be chastised for it. The beach was nice, it was beautiful weather and I got to “dip my paddies in the water.” But his company was less than.
When we got back to Windsor that day, he was too tired to make dinner… a salad. I volunteered but when he heard me drop something (an onion), he had to come into the kitchen and scrutinize all that I did. I Didn’t was the pepper well enough. Then, I was using the “wrong” knife to chop the pepper. He told me to get out, he’d do it himself. Very calmly (and jokingly but honestly) told him this was why I had said he was anal rententive earlier. I went into living room and started to read. About 5 minutes later, he comes in with a glass of wine, tells me he is no longer hungry, he’s just having wine and I can make my own dinner. As I walked into the kitchen, he said he didn’t want me to make any for him. I told him to fire up the computer and I was going to change my ticket home for the next day. He was flabbergasted and didn’t believe me.
But, my mind was made up. I wasn’t happy about being stuck with him when he was moody but there is no way anyone will ever treat me with such disrespect. There is no way I will put up with that behavior from anyone, ever! So, without losing my temper, yelling or calling names, I changed my ticket and returned home 2 days earlier than planned.
Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t feel sorry. It was a good trip. I came home before it was ruined. I got to see the moors of England, go into the English channel and see the “English Rivera”. I got to see the fields of yellow – not sure what they were, as I couldn’t understand the word he said “something” oil. They make a bio-fuel out of it. I got to see Windsor castle, walk on the Long Walk, explore London, puke on a train (don’t ride backwards when you’ve mixed beer with cinder) and see Prince Harry’s Ferrari (not really that much of a highlight but still). And, I found myself while I was there. I know many more things about me. I am granola – yep still am always will be. Money, cars, expensive furniture ($750 lamp??? Who does that?), fashionable clothes…they don’t impress me. A kind word, a nice smile, consideration, holding your tongue when you want to be mean, intelligent conversation – these things all impress me. I learned I have to pick my travel companions carefully. I can be kind, considerate and hold my head up when I’m being treated poorly but still walk away and don’t allow myself to be a door mat.
When I got home, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone I was back. I wanted “me” time. I took it and did some home maintenance and self maintenance. And, after all this reflection, I have realized... I am back! I am whole! Everything the ex took from me has been restored through time and the healing power of God. I know who I am and what I want. And, I don’t feel like I have to search so hard for someone. I am happy with who I am and where I am in life. And, I now know, I will never, ever commit Tom Foolery again!!!!!!!
Leading up to the trip, there were many phone calls (on his part) to me telling me how excited he was to have me, how he couldn’t wait to see me, missed me and even the “l” word. None of which I responded to all that much, but it did get my hopes up. Maybe this trip would show me that the break up was a mistake…ha!
I arrive and things start out well. He had even made up the extra bedroom to prove to me that he wasn’t expecting anything from me…else it was a ruse. You’ll have to decide. I unpacked and took forever to get ready to go out…only because I couldn’t find anything. But, we went into Windsor and started the tour with a pub. I was hungry and so was he. He bought lunch and beers and said, “you can get the next round.” You could have heard the tires screeching in my head at that point. What, but didn’t you say…”I’ll take care of the rest.” WTF??? Any way, we eat and explore the area. I enjoyed the day immensely. He even cooked me dinner and turned down my request to help.
Day two we go into London and it is there that his attitude started. They didn’t take credit cards for purchases under 10 pounds and two beers were never above that. I bought lunch that day. But he still bitched about having to buy me beer. Cheap ass bastard! I did have fun despite his whiny cheap ass behavior. I drank too much, too.
The third day I was hung over big time. We talk a walk along the river in Windsor and decided to go for a drive to a pub in the country. When we go there, I couldn’t bear the thought of drinking. I had a ginger ale. He ordered a pint and the tab can to less than four pounds. The minimum was 5. I had planned on just paying it and telling the bartender to keep the change – just to keep him from whining. But he paid for it and bitched. My soda cost less than a half a pound. What f-ing bioche!!!!!!! I spent 50 lbs on a curry dinner that night to shut his whiny ass up!
I wonder if he realizes how unappealing it makes him. Even more so is his thinking that he is so worldly and cultured. He isn’t even close. He is so egocentric – if it isn’t London fashionable, then it isn’t fashionable. If you can’t eat as much food as him (considering I’m at least 50 lbs lighter!), then there is something wrong with you. If you aren’t him, then you aren’t right. There is no such thing as “acceptable’ difference. It is his way or the highway! It is funny that he sees himself as charming. But he didn’t understand why I had said he is charming when he tries! I think it insulted him. I believe real charm goes beyond being charming to get what you want. I wonder if being an Indian in the UK gave him an inferiority complex. His reason for being an arrogant, holier than thou, consumed with materialistic goods, putz. Definitely not me!
I figured it all out on the first day. He knew all the “lovely” pubs. Yes, it’s nice to go out for a drink and food, but that seemed like it was the extent of his leisure time. Hmmm.. Then, when we were in London (day 2) and he was bitching about me not exchanging money (hadn’t been afforded the opportunity), I was sure we couldn’t be bf and gf. You just don’t treat a guest, friend or someone you care about like that. I couldn’t stand his stinginess.
He actually thinks he will be a good dad! With his intent on looking good, having the best of things and being so self-centered, there is no way he would make of a good dad. He never approves of anything anyone else does. Those poor kids would be so messed up – they would have no self-esteen. Funny how I didn’t remember what a jerk he can be!
I guess I thought the issues we had when we were together was from the time – me being sensitive and having low self-esteem coming out of my divorce and him still hurting from his divorce. But it wasn’t. He is just a demanding, unrelenting ass who doesn’t care how rude or how much of a jerk he can be.
Oh and he has no sense of humor, either. I can’t believe how horrible it was to try and crack a joke with him. He only liked poking fun at other people. I thought most people out grew that after teens or at least by the time they were 30! Apparently not him, nor his friends.
On the fourth day, I woke up in a good mood, over my hangover, trying to be cheerful and make conversation. He was miserable – such a moody person. He changed plans and instead of staying in the south, he wanted to drive back to Windsor that day. Then he was too cheap to pay for a ticket (6.50) to go into Stonehenge with me…AWESOME by the way. 3000 years old, maintained for 1500 years. And yep, I got to see it!!!! Woo hoo! There was an awesome audo tour (head phones) but I was too afraid to listen to the whole thing because he’d yell I had taken too long. I realized I had become afraid to speak, afraid to move under his constant eye and sharp tongue. What a horrible way to live! We then went to the seaside. I got some sun as we drove with the op down of his porche boxter. Nice car but I was terrified I’d do something wrong and be chastised for it. The beach was nice, it was beautiful weather and I got to “dip my paddies in the water.” But his company was less than.
When we got back to Windsor that day, he was too tired to make dinner… a salad. I volunteered but when he heard me drop something (an onion), he had to come into the kitchen and scrutinize all that I did. I Didn’t was the pepper well enough. Then, I was using the “wrong” knife to chop the pepper. He told me to get out, he’d do it himself. Very calmly (and jokingly but honestly) told him this was why I had said he was anal rententive earlier. I went into living room and started to read. About 5 minutes later, he comes in with a glass of wine, tells me he is no longer hungry, he’s just having wine and I can make my own dinner. As I walked into the kitchen, he said he didn’t want me to make any for him. I told him to fire up the computer and I was going to change my ticket home for the next day. He was flabbergasted and didn’t believe me.
But, my mind was made up. I wasn’t happy about being stuck with him when he was moody but there is no way anyone will ever treat me with such disrespect. There is no way I will put up with that behavior from anyone, ever! So, without losing my temper, yelling or calling names, I changed my ticket and returned home 2 days earlier than planned.
Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t feel sorry. It was a good trip. I came home before it was ruined. I got to see the moors of England, go into the English channel and see the “English Rivera”. I got to see the fields of yellow – not sure what they were, as I couldn’t understand the word he said “something” oil. They make a bio-fuel out of it. I got to see Windsor castle, walk on the Long Walk, explore London, puke on a train (don’t ride backwards when you’ve mixed beer with cinder) and see Prince Harry’s Ferrari (not really that much of a highlight but still). And, I found myself while I was there. I know many more things about me. I am granola – yep still am always will be. Money, cars, expensive furniture ($750 lamp??? Who does that?), fashionable clothes…they don’t impress me. A kind word, a nice smile, consideration, holding your tongue when you want to be mean, intelligent conversation – these things all impress me. I learned I have to pick my travel companions carefully. I can be kind, considerate and hold my head up when I’m being treated poorly but still walk away and don’t allow myself to be a door mat.
When I got home, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone I was back. I wanted “me” time. I took it and did some home maintenance and self maintenance. And, after all this reflection, I have realized... I am back! I am whole! Everything the ex took from me has been restored through time and the healing power of God. I know who I am and what I want. And, I don’t feel like I have to search so hard for someone. I am happy with who I am and where I am in life. And, I now know, I will never, ever commit Tom Foolery again!!!!!!!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Try not to miss me too much
I'm off to the UK to commit Tom Foolery. I plan to have a lovely time and be a happy camper!
When I get back, I'll tell you all about Rising Sun and our chat at the gym yesterday!
Try not to miss me!
When I get back, I'll tell you all about Rising Sun and our chat at the gym yesterday!
Try not to miss me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
