dating...

Been doing the online dating and I'm getting tired of the initial emails, etc. I feel like a used care salesman. Here's my ad... This baby is a classic. She's a bit older but you can tell she has definitely been garage kept. Very peppy and makes the curves fun to handle. Photos don't do her justice. You must see her in person to appreciate her exterior as well as interior beauty.

Batting 400

So I wonder these days what everyone else’s batting average is when it comes to meeting guys in bars and then having them “call”. So I started keeping track and right now my average is 400. Here are the stories to go with the statistics…

First one was about a year ago. Faithful blog readers first met him in retarded or not, you be the judge. I won’t go into how he turned out (read the past if you want) but it started out promising. Las tres amigas were out watching my friend’s band. We were having quite the lovely time. SZ was quite flirtatious and funny all evening. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. I didn’t take his. He actually called the very next day. We went out several times. I was one for one!

Number two… I think. I can’t really remember any others in between so, when I went to NYC this past May, I’ll count DC boy as number two. I was having a fabulous time at my sister’s bachelorette party. DC boy has been drinking and wants us to hang with him. Not going to happen… I’m busy here partying with my sis. I tell him I don’t do random out of town hook ups. He tells me he from near my town. He asks for my number. I call his phone from mine. He texts me two more times that evening, trying to get me to give up my new location. I never hear from him again. I guess I coulda called, but I was pretty drunk and not sure he'd be worth it. Batting average drops to 500.

Number three. I’m out on a Friday night and I look absolutely rocking. At least 3 different guys show interest in me – so I’m pretty sure I was looking good. Like an absolute fool, I listen to my friends and chat with the player. My gut told me he was a sleaze but the alcohol silenced the gut. I went home and he wasn’t invited. But we exchanged numbers as he walked me to the car. Got a few stupid texts from him later that night asking me if I was thinking of him and if he could come over. Ugh! I was glad he never called again. But it dropped my average to 333.

Number four. It was a low key evening listening to music with BFE. DB keeps checking me out. Cute enough. He eventually drinks up enough courage to sit down. Sits pretty close to me and keeps touching me. He likes the same music and some of the same geeky movies as me. We seem to have a few other things in common, too. I’m not swooned by him, but think we could have a good time. He walks me outside and doesn’t even try to take me home. Suggests getting together the next day or some time soon. We exchange numbers. I was actually surprised and a little disappointed DB didn’t call. Average drops to 250!

Number five. I was out celebrating another year of existence on this dreadful planet. He’s cute enough and very brave. Looks at me smiles and then after I smile back, he heads over to talk. Even if he wasn’t cute, I’d go out with him just for having a pair! He’s a bit dorky but we have a lot of similar interests. We talk all evening long. He walks me to the car and tells me to call him after church so we can go hiking the next day. So maybe this doesn’t count as a “call”. But, he answers when I call and we go out. So I’m counting it as a hit. Batting average = 400.

Hmmm…either I need to go out to more bars or I need to find somewhere else to meet guys!

Origin: I don't give a rat's a$$

So as promised…not really to you dear reader, but for my own enjoyment, I looked up the origin to giving a rat’s ass and here are the top contenders (insert drum roll here – not literally. You need to use your imagination. Man oh man, has the computer world really created people who can’t use their imagination. Hear it now? that’s better)….

This is very likely to be one of many 'I don't give a...' variants. Animals get used for all sorts of things. Here, in the UK, it used to be 'as sick as a dog'. That's now out of date and the current phrase is 'sick as a parrot' - without, I may add, any evidence whatsoever that parrots are particularly sick. It's all 'Fashion'.
This is my least favorite explanation because well, the writer is from the UK and talks about Fashion…nuff said!

Have you forgotten that the hoot-owl's hoot is used in the same manner?"I don't give a hoot about the man in your moon." "I don't give a rat's ass about ..." See? Same idea. Owls get picked on, too.
Another animal one. Not bad but well, not good either.

It's just general slang that started up sometime during the 20th century. While nobody knows for sure how it came about, it's believed that a rat was used in the expression because of the way people view the rodent (annoying and small).
Better…more along the lines of what I’m thinking when I write it.

But the winner is…
When the term was first coined, presumably a rat's ass was the least valuable thing that the speaker could possibly imagine. If the subject of a sentence doesn't even "give a rat's ass" about something, the implication is that he or she certainly wouldn't give more valuable things, such as concern, or a second thought to the of the sentence.

This is what boredom with my life has reduced me too. Eeee gads!!!!

Quiet doesn't mean content

I’ve been quiet lately. That’s what happens when I get depressed. I withdraw from everyone and hide inside my shell. Not sure what I’m depressed about. I guess I’m just bored with my life and most things in it.

Work is okay. Not fabulous. The boss is okay. I still don’t like him, but I keep trying to find redeeming qualities. One important, actually the most important, overwhelming piece of info is his boss, our group VP, likes him. Therefore, thus, hence, I must not give my boss cause to not like me. Trying to find redeeming qualities is not only the Christian thing to do (and should truly be reason enough) but is also the save my butt thing to do. It’s just hard to do because the guy is quite the idiot. But, I’ve learned to be a patient person – not something I expected would be so difficult when I prayed for it!!!! But, I have and I will use this patience to help me. But in the mean time, work is blah.

Same goes for personal life. It’s two fold and intertwined. I’ll start with the man scene. It sucks. Not just blah. It sucks!!!! Any time I meet a man I find physically attractive, he is too young to have a relationship with. Any time I find a man old enough, who is intellectually attractive, there is not a whole lot of physical attraction. And, damn it, I'm trying the you need to give it time to let it grow baloney I've been fed. It is a very, very rare occasion I meet a man my age, who is physically and intellectually attractive. SUCKS friggin big time!!!! I’d give up on the finding a man issue except the other part of my personal life is pretty dismal, too.

I’ve discovered that most of my friends aren’t very good at being friends that help out during these times of feeling blah. There are a few and one of them is surprising. But, in general, I think all my friends are takers. If I don’t make an effort to see them, if I don’t plan something, if I don’t ask, it doesn’t happen. Even if I ask and they say yes, it doesn’t always happen. I feel like I’m the last grain of rice on their plate. If nothing else is going on in their life, if no better plans come up, then they’ll hang out with me. But, no commitment will be made, no effort to make a plan and ask me to join, etc. Actually one person is giving me the cold shoulder because I don’t email long or interesting enough emails to him. It is a hoot. I told him I was depressed, bummed about my life and didn’t feel up to writing long emails about my evening, etc…rehashing the ennui that has taken over my life. It just pissed him off and he’s been a whiney bitch ever since. I'm not asking to be coddled, just for a break. Obviously, he doesn't know how to give one!

So, I guess this all comes with one week til my b-day. And, BFE wants to plan something for me. She is trying to figure out what to do and wants my input. All I can tell her is I don’t give a rat’s ass (where did that phrase come from - note to self, must look into that) if we do anything at all. Don’t care if I get a stinking present, drink, cake or happy b-day next week. I really don’t. You know how some people say, “Oh I don’t care. Whatever you want is fine,” but what they really mean is “do something fabulous for me or I’ll be upset.” Yeah, well this isn’t me right now. I really truly without a doubt - don’t care.

I’m tired of planning, doing and getting nothing back. I’m tired of feeling blah and being disappointed. I’m tired of the world and all the crappy people in it. I give up. I don’t feel like dancing in the f-ing rain. K? I just want to hole up in my cocoon and tell everyone else to go dance in the rain. And, if they happen to find a nice, attractive, intelligent man, who is my age, they should put down the lysergic acid diethylamide and take a step back, because they are obviously hallucinating.

So, here is my birthday wish list... this desire to find someone worthwhile in my life to go away and for me understand why it is so difficult to find friends who can be there for me like I try to be there for them. Oh yeah, while I’m at it, how ‘bout some world peace!!!!!