Dud

Mr. Smiley turned out to be a dud.  Ugh…online dating is a killer.  He seemed so sweet and charming and truly interested in me and a relationship.  But the past few days I’ve come to know a man who is depressed and boring.  HE put on a great show last weekend.  But this week he pestered me to come see him on Tuesday and then canceled.  Invited me out on Wednesday, changed the plans and then was boring when we met.  Yesterday he was quiet most of the day and just acting like a jerk.  So I guess it is time to say, “next”.   And he seemed so promising.  It is almost time for me to quit this stupid online process.  

Two strikes and you're out!

So a week ago Sunday, I went to dinner with Red. He was acceptably “nice” but not my physical ideal – being red and all. We had a decent enough time. I sent the usual “thank you text” around 10 p.m. that evening. He replied the next morning (Monday) around 8 a.m. with a “nice to meet you, too” text.

On Wednesday evening, he sends a text, “Hey hope your week is going well. I may be free for lunch on Saturday or Sunday if like to get together again?” (Yes, I’m leaving his typos, although adding punctuation so it is easier to read) My first thought is “may be free?” May?? Either you are or you aren’t. What the hell is may? I replied about 40 minutes later, “That would be nice but I play soccer on Saturday afternoon and have a “ladies brunch” on Sunday.” An hour later he wrote, “I have aband party on Saturday night. Maybe we can do Sunday. U play football and soccer damn that’s cool.”

I didn’t reply. Mostly because he didn’t ask me specifically what and the first request was for lunch. And, since I had brunch plans, lunch would be impossible. His stupidity was strike 2 (red is strike one) so I didn’t answer. I figured if he wanted to do something, he needed to ask.

Yesterday at 4:30 p.m. he wrote to me, “I hope you are having an awesome day and get a chance to play outside. It is beautiful.” Now how the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Really? What was that about? Men are so stupid!

My thoughts…Red had a date planned for the weekend. Thus the reason for putting me off til late in the weekend and never following up. But the date didn’t go well, so he felt the need to text me on Monday. I could be wrong….just being cynical. But any which way, I’m thinking kickball here: 2 strikes and you’re out! Or as Rachie would say, “Next.” (which I had already thought, just hadn’t said!)

One messed up Nightmare

Wow…just fucking wow! I know…how often do I actually use a curse word in this blog? But, I did and it is because of a nightmare I had last night. I have no idea why I had this but it is very disturbing that I did.

I dreamed that I was away…in a house somewhere away on a trip with my social group. As usual, I was rooming with the Beautiful Bodacious Blonde (BBB)…one of the few blondes that I can actually tolerate because she knows how to use her brain (LOL). Any way, we were lying around when YBBK came and stood over her. He did so in a very domineering way. I gave him a dirty look for interrupting our conversation time. I asked what his problem was and he said, “I’m not near you and BBB doesn’t seem to mind.” I answered with, “seriously? Why don’t you go away?” And he replied with, “She seems fine with me here.” I sarcastically asked, “What are you dating now?” And he said, “Yes.” I was infuriated. I asked BBB and she didn’t need to answer. I started screaming at them. I told BBB she could totally plan on going to Italy by herself. I was as angry as I could be. BBB and I went into our room to discuss it, but I was still so angry. I first asked why she waited til now to tell me. Then asked her how she could date him when she knew I was still in love with him. Then, I asked her how long it had been going on. She told me in a happy, hopeful voice, “It’s made it past the 3 month mark!” I was flabbergasted at how many times we had gone away and she had roomed with me in the past few months and she never told me what was going on. I was absolutely hurt and furious that she hadn’t told me. I was mostly hurt that she hadn’t bothered to tell me and had been so deceptive toward me. When everyone left for dinner, I bagged out – saying I wasn’t feeling up for it. I had called my daughter, she showed up and I took all my stuff and left. I had decided I would never speak to any of them again. I woke up.

What a screwed up dream! Where do I even begin? I have no idea why I had it. And why now? There is nothing in BBB that would ever make me not trust her with anything. She is the sweetest, kindest, best person ever to me! Even if she decided to date YBBK, it wouldn’t bother me…although, I know she never would – for so many reasons. And, I am not the least bit in love with him. I’m trying like hell to look for a reason for it and all I can think of is my trepidation at getting involved in another relationship. That I’m scared I’ll trust someone and be betrayed by them. And, the way my subconscious played it out was to have one of the people I love the most hurt me by allying themselves with another person who had lied to, betrayed my trust and hurt me multiple times. It was my way of telling me that I’m terrified to trust again. But that is all I can come up with. You think that’s right?

Mr. Smiley

Last night’s date went really well. We seem to have a ton in common. The evening flew by. He seems genuinely interested in me. Of course, I have a couple of reservations – don’t I always. He is from North Carolina. I hate southerners. I don’t meant that in a bad way – hahhaha. But seriously, I’m not patient enough to deal with most southerners. I don’t the NC drawl and not a big fan of redneck. And, he is a bit of a red neck. Mr. Smiley – named so for a text message that he sent inadvertently replacing me with Mr. :). He is a bit of a redneck. Still has a bit of the drawl but is faster than most southerners. But the worst part – he drives a camaro. I know, I know that is so shallow of me to say so. But still…a camaro. I thought only 17 year old boys drove them. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a nice, fast car, pretty…but still a camaro. I don’t really care about cars but just the fact that he is the type of guy that would drive a camaro! LOL.

He is really sweet, cute and very gentlemanly. Sadly, he is short but he has a fabulous body….was a wrestler in high school. He kisses nice, too. He sends me texts/emails pretty regularly. Although, he seems a bit needy. I’m not sure if I’m ready for this to go there so fast. Any way, other than being a damn southerner with a camaro, he is worth investigating further.

Optimism or Insanity?

I started online dating again. I know, I know – how many times have I sworn it off?! I figured it was time to give it another shot because so many of my friends seem to meet people online. Since I was changing up my life at work, I thought, why not change up personal life. Well, that was mistake number one! I shouldn’t have tried to learn a new job and online date at the same time! It is so exhausting to keep up with the emails, etc. This new site is great, though. I’m not sure what changed since the last time I was online, but there are a plethora of men in my age range that are intelligent and good looking. Whoda thunk?

Any way, so, I’m trying to work 9-10 hours a day and then do the online dating thing, including the dates. I was thinking, if all else goes wrong, this will be at least entertaining from a blog point of view. But alas, between work and dating, I have no time to write. I know…horribly depressing, isn’t it?!

I do have to share some of the more recent funny things, though.

First email was from a 26 year old boy who wrote that while I knew he was outside of my age range, he just wanted to tell me I was gorgeous. I responded with thank you and I thought he was cute. Yep, I’m full of mistakes these days. He eventually propositioned me with FWB. I thought about it – he was THAT cute! But alas, I had to turn him down. LOL.

Then I receive one that states, “Good Evening Ms., You sure do something for a man's imagination... and some! Whew...” So how is one to respond to that? “why thank you. So glad to have obliged.” (in my deepest southern accent). Seriously. Dude, this is why no one writes back to you! I did NOT make a mistake here!

Then there is Gman. He initially writes saying how he wants to develop a friendship and maybe cultivate it itnot something more, blah, blah, blah. So I write back and this goes on. He gives me his number and because I was leaving on a Friday night with no intention on logging on over the weekend, I pass on my number …mistake! He calls. I was driving; I didn’t answer. He doesn’t leave a message. He calls again but this time not from the number he gave me. I didn’t recognize it and didn’t answer. No message. Finally he calls from that same unrecognizable number and leaves a message. But the message is somewhat preachy about me not getting back to him. So, of course, I don’t call him back. He then leaves me a message on the website telling me he is trying to reach me. Now when I sent him the email on Friday, I told him that I wouldn’t be online all weekend. So Monday rolls around and what do I get but another email from him complaining I never called him back or answered his email. I explained that I hadn’t gotten a message from him until late in the weekend and that I wasn’t online (per the Friday email). He was a little bit bitchy but seemed to be okay. Then on Tuesday, he started harassing me again. So on Wednesday, I wrote and told him I was no longer interested in communicating with him. I wished him the best.

He wrote back in a separate email, “oh good. That means you’ll call.” I thought it was really odd and his way of continuing to pressure me to talk. I ignored it.

But, I think I forgot to proofread my first email because this is what I got today: “It is obvious that you do not have any interest in me. You do not write unless I write to you first. You give me your phone number and never return my calls. So with that I must say good luck in your search because I will not be put up on a shelf until your ready to play with me. I am so much better then that and you unfortunately will never know. I am not mad at you, just tired of you playing games, Some advice, next time you give your number to someone, make sure that you have you make time to talk to him and not make excuses.”

I wrote back: “I'm sorry that you missed the last email that I sent yesterday. I thought I had made it clear that I was no longer interested in communicating with you. Best Wishes.”   Now I wrote this because I didn’t understand that after my communication with him, why he thought I was still interested.

He wrote: “I did not miss it, you said you wanted to communicate with me. But if it makes you feel better, then you denied me. Whatever.”

So very mature, don't you think? Now if I had any inclination to actually keep communicating with this idiot, that email would have ended it. Really, I would have felt the need to write what I did just to make myself feel better? I actually thought it would have made him feel better that I wasn’t playing games because I had told him I wasn’t interested. But it didn’t.

So, like a dummy, I write one more email: “Ooops. bad typo. I wasn't trying to say I denied you just trying to clarify that I thought it was resolved. “

Funniest thing is he changed his profile to read: “If you are into playing games, please do not contact me. I will not be put up on a shelf until your ready to play with me. I am so much better then that.”

What a funny, immature, bitter man. I hope I don’t run across to many more of them.  And, by the way, he contacted me first!  LOL.

BTW, I have been corresponding with a couple of very nice men. Yes, I just gave them all the kiss of “nice”. Actually there is a hopeful in the group but I refuse to talk about and jinx it! It would be nice not to have to say, “next,” though.