hot mama

Well, I wish, oh how I wish that I can say my resolution form two weeks ago has stuck. But, i got sick....no really i did! terribly ill this weekend. Started Friday night and just finally came out from my fever induced haze yesterday. The good news in all of this is as follows:

1. I quit smoking...cold turkey. It wasn't hard... to breathe or not to breathe, that was the question. I chose breathing! So, I'm done smoking. Not hard to do and after feeling so ill over the weekend, I think staying quit will be easy.
2. I did not gain any weight during this time. Albeit, I didn't lose any. But, since I wasn't exercising...unless you call walking from the couch to the bathroom to the kitchen (for more fluids) exercise, I'd call this a victory.
3. I am eating healthier. I still have about 3 weeks supply of citrus (oranges and grapefruits) and still have a lower calorie intake from being sick.

Since the last post, i came to realize my calcium intake was dangerously low... like nothing. So, I did some research and made a list of calcium rich foods. During the process, I realized that adding these foods would requiring adding calories...which are at a premium right now. So I modified the list to show which foods had the most mg of Ca per calorie. Turns out that the almond milk that I keep in my house fit the bill. One cup has 450 of the required 1000 mg of Ca and only 30 calories. So, I now need to make sure I add a cup a day. Of course, I cut out the caffeine in my diet and was limited coffee. Reason being, I don't like the coffee without sweetener. And, i don't want to add the calories of sugar but don't want the chemicals of artificial sweetener. so now, I have to figure out how to drink the milk (gross) without the coffee to flavor it. So that is a new project for me.

Last week, my friend, the health food nut, had made me kale or collard green soup. it had the greens, onion, garlic and pork in it. It tasted good...but sure it stunk the house up when she made it! LOL. It was great that it I had it while I was sick. All the ingredients are great tonics...high in vitamin C and antioxidents. I think it really helped me to get better. The collard greens are high in in Ca, too. Too bad I can't get her to make it for me once every couple of weeks. That would help immensely with the diet.

Last night was a good night. I played volleyball and then yoga. But tonight will be rough because my friend is making me dinner and bringing wine. Meaning...too much food, too much alcohol and no exercise. UGH.

But, I must renew my vow to lose 5 lbs by Valentine's day. it seems like a huge goal now...considering that next week I have a 4 day trip to Vegas planned with the trivia team....meaning low exercise and high alcohol consumption. I'll have to forgo food to keep the calories in check! But, I will not give up! I mean it!!!! I need a flat tummy by the time I see CB...especially because of the shit that is going down. Oh, you wanna know about that. Yeah, well, gotta get that down, too...don't I?

Post CB resolutions

So now with Cabana boy having moved back to the island, I've determined to get myself into amazing shape. First stop is eating less. I've been doing that for a few weeks now and back down to my "heavy weight". Yep a few years ago, I had my heavy weight and light weight, usually corresponding to winter and summer. But, the heavy weight became the norm and then with the relationship came the 10 lb gain due to eating together and driking wine 5-6 nights a week. So, for the past few weeks, I've been on severe calorie restrictions and i"m happy to say, it's working. Next step is workout schedule... Back to volleyball 2 nights a week. Adding yoga to the routine for after vball. And, then, need to add to the other two work week nights. Typical activities include running and yoga for my winter work outs. But I tend to slack on those. Saw a gym online today that is a trampoline gym with 1 hour work out sessions...sooooo....I'm thinking of adding that to one night a week...well, at least try it out once to see how it goes. The third and more drawn out s the quitting of the nicotine that I've been taking in for about a year now. Waxing and waning....mostly becaues of CB. So with him out of the picture, I'm thinking I can complete that break up and be done with the nastiness. I do enjoy it so much, though. But am trying to replace it with other things...too bad CB is gone and I can't use sex as one of the replacements...tee hee!!! Any way, by the time Valentine's day comes round, I'm expectign to be down another 5 lbs (not setting my expectation too high), more tone and nicotine free! That way, if the loser wants to dump my ass, he'll be dumping one hot chick. hahaha. ANy way, I feel like I need to keep a Bridget Jones type diary...you know X calories, X exercise, X cigs, X X-rated dreams... Could be entertaining but then again, it's been done and well, no one would be interested. So, I'll occassionally write an update as to how things are going....which means you'll probably never hear about this again....hahahahaha!!!

LT Relationship, day 3

The last week before he moved back to PR was wonderful. He was more loving and affectionate then he had been in the past. He wanted to spend time with me and postponed things to be with me. It felt really good and I was hopeful. But now, 3 days later, I fully expect him to let me down. I fully expect him not to keep up his end of the bargain and to keep in touch with me. I’m glad I bought the plane tickets and let him know when I did (last week), because if I had waited until now, I wouldn’t do it. He initially told me he’d need some time to get settled and to start to re-establish a relationship with his son. But, over the past few days, he hasn’t paid the attention to me that I wanted. He turned his phone from ring to vibrate while he was at his ex-wife’s house with his son. It is a shitty feeling to know that he will ignore me when he is with them. He ignored my text and my call. A half hour later, he had turned the ringer back on (or so I’m guessing from the type of ring I got) and answered the phone when I called just to tell me he’d call me back. He never bothered to answer my text. It makes me feel like an optional part of his life. So today, I will not text nor call. I plan to keep it up for the rest of the week. He needs to feel my absence and realize that he is being a jerk. If he stays away, I’m done with this. Pretty sad when after 1-1/2 years, it takes less than a week of LT relationship to destroy what we had. But then again, I’ve always questioned what we had….