Nutshell

So here is my “love life” in a nutshell…

Newbie (aka the Spoiler) screwed up on Saturday and stood me up. Worse yet, I had to get up early, load my bike on my car and drive ½ hour to meet the f&*$% idiot. I call after 15 minute grace period and he says he isn’t coming. WTF? He comes up with lame excuse 1 of I called your cell phone and it went straight to voicemail this morning (at 9:12 a.m.). I figured you were ignoring me….hello idiot, I wasn’t even out of bed yet. Then lame excuse number 2 - I sent an email. Well, I checked at 9:30 right before I left and there was none! He says he sent it at 9:40…again WTF? We were meeting at 10 and it takes a half hour to get there. I was furious. So furious I yelled at him for at least 10 minutes for messing up my day. I could have went with my friends to a division 1 college football game. But NOOooooo I turned them down because I was meeting said fuck up who can’t even leave a freaking message. When we hung up, I told him I was too pissed to talk to him. He leaves me a message the next day seeing if I’ll forgive him and possibly give him another chance. Just writing this makes me pissed off all over again. Truth of the matter, he isn’t all that intelligent and kisses lousy. So, I’m not sure he’s worth another date. I’m toying with the idea, but only because I feel sorry for him. I am so pathetic!

Saturday afternoon I made a date for later that evening with the self proclaimed dork. And, people, this guy doesn’t know what the meaning of the word dork is. He isn’t smart enough to be a dork. He is more like ADHD wrapped up in a gum chewing package. He’s cute enough but not all that interesting. He’s only recently separated so no, I need to say next. Funny is he seemed about as interested in me as I was in him, yet he still emailed me later to say it was nice to meet me. Guess he hasn’t figured out you only do that if you want to see the person again. Haha.

The best part of the weekend was my drunken episode with BFF. Actually, the best part was before I fell over drunk. Not sure how it happened. I remember feeling fine one minute and the next she is pulling up at her house, pouring my puddle ass out of the car. I feel soooo bad. I think my food to alcohol ratio was off a bit. More food, less alcohol is my usual recipe. Ooopsie. I really need to talk to her to find out what happened and if I didn’t anything I need to be ashamed of. I certainly hope not. But when I get drunk, I get stupid. Seems like a common problem for people.

So the last day of my weekend, I took off. I finished reading Eat, Pray, Love. It’s a good book about learning about balance. I need balance. Of course the bitch gets a Brazilian lover in the end. Bitch! I want a Brazilian lover. Hell, I just want a lover. I need sex.

Which brings me to PJ. Yesterday I pretty much cut him loose. Told him I expect nothing from him and will bother him no more. I wanted to write, “I want sex and since you won’t give it to me, I plan to find someone who will.” I couldn’t be quite that blunt with him. Mostly because he refuses to open up to me, to himself or what the fuck ever. I’m tired of being in my sexual prime and not getting any. I know it sounds pathetic but shit, I’m not getting any younger.

So, I’ll keep trying to find a man whose personality I can tolerate, who thinks I’m fabulous and will spoil my body rotten. Sad part is there are so few men I can tolerate. Where are all the smart men? Really, where are they? Probably so smart they gave up on dating years ago!

Oh well, at least my struggles in this area will give you something to be entertained by. Perhaps the funny captain of my new co-ed volleyball team is single and cute. Highly unlikely…most of those guys are marrieds. But we can always hope, right?