Run away

This feeling of emptiness, failure and pain is what makes me wonder why I just keep trying to find a partner. I haven’t even been out right rejected, but it certainly feels like it.

Date 1: drinks: He’s cute enough, fun, light hearted, and good at communicating. I really enjoyed myself.

Date 2, Friday: dinner, pool, drinks. Talking was fun. He’s good at pool but not super competitive. Very affectionate. Liked to dance and listen to the band. Good kisser. Lot’s of fun and excited because he asked to see me for brunch on Sunday.

Date 3, Sunday: He said he wasn’t hungry lunch was just an excuse to see me. We cuddle on the couch and watch football. Go to lunch at half time. Again, everything seems so natural and right.

End of date 3: We talk about the fact that he is seeing other people still. Not really talk about it…just confirm that he is okay with me doing it and him continuing. It tears my heart out… makes me want run away and never see him again. I can’t allow myself to be put in that type of situation. I don’t EVER want to compete with another woman for a man’s attention. I can’t handle the rejection if it were to occur. I feel so low, so hurt, so flippin broken.

WHY, oh why does this have to happen to me? I really saw potential here, but I can’t even think about continuing to see him if he is seeing other girls. I can’t put my heart out there like that.

Am, I still so broken from the lying, cheating ex that I can’t exist in a normal dating world? Will I ever be the same and recover?
How can I find the fortitude to go on, keep trying, have hope? Every time I get there, the hope gets dashed, the heart hurts again and the tears just flow down my face