The Right thing...

I've done the right thing; I know I have...
so why do I feel so lousy?

We really weren't meant to be.
I would have never found true happiness in that relationship.
He wasn't who I thought he was when we first met.
And, I just kept making concessions until it became too much.

I hated that...
He needed to be drugged to go to sleep.
He was very uncouth, at times
He let certain people push him around.
As a result he let everyone he cared for down- especially me.

He actually walked out on me.
Then asked me (several times) to take him back.
But, he couldn't find the strength to do it face to face.
He was too weak.

This seems to be a reoccuring theme in my dating life.
Do I need a strength in a man that isn't possible?

Maybe that is why I'm feeling lousy.
It sucks to have "another one bite the dust".
It really sucks. I feel incompatible.

I really hate that I meet someone and think "wow!"
Then as time goes on, wow becomes, "oh, yeah"
And oh yeah becomes "oh no, not again!"

Do people really put on such a facade when they first meet?
What happened to that happy, strong, loving Christian that I first met.
How did he become depressed, weak, selfish and crass?

It just really sucks.
I really want to give up this whole search.
I'm tired of the disappointment.

I wish I didn't want to find someone so badly.
I wish I didn't dream of finding the one man who can make me smile on a bad day.
I wish I could be "in love" with one of my male friends who treat me like a princess.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.