What's wrong with me?

I don’t understand why guys don’t ask me out. I just don’t get it. I’ve been told many times that I’m pretty. I have a pretty face. My hair is fabulous (it’s the one thing I love about me) – it’s long and while not blonde, a pretty brunette. Zodiac told me the guys check me out at the gym all the time. Since there’s a lot of female eye candy at the gym, if guys are looking at me it must means I have to have a decent body. Right? I know my legs are kicking (hee hee – very punny). So, what is it about me that guys don’t like? Why don’t they ask me out? Zodiac said it was the way I carried myself - like I already had a boyfriend or husband. What does that mean? How am I supposed to carry myself? Do I have to wear a sign that says, “single and would consider a date with you…if you aren’t weird, fat, or overly hairy.”

And, what is it with online dating? I don’t understand why I don’t hear back from the guys that are decent looking. I don’t think my pictures are that bad. I know I don’t photograph great and most guys say I look better in person. But it can't be that drastic of a difference. So why can’t I get guys to try and meet me? It seems like the only ones that write (either first or back) turn out to be duds. I’ve even checked out the competition (yes, I actually looked at other girl’s sites) and they aren’t any prettier than me. I don’t have a ton of stuff in my profile, so I can’t see that putting guys off. I just really don’t get it. I feel like writing the guys and asking, “hey I’d really like some constructive criticism as to what is wrong with my profile. So, can you please tell me why you didn’t write back to me?” Yeah, I’d immediately be tagged as a “crazy bitch”. But dang, why don’t they think I’m worth 5 minutes and an email. I’m sure if they saw me in a bar/restaurant/coffee shop, they’d be checking me out. Guys always do…actually that is how I can tell if a guy is single, married or gay. I can almost always see it in the way they look or don’t look at me. Gay guys actually appreciate my beauty, but don’t have the lust behind their eyes! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m drop dead gorgeous, but I’ve yet to meet someone who meets me for the first time and guesses my age within 5 years! They always suspect me to be 5-10 years younger. So that tells me I’m well preserved, if nothing else. I am short – but it can’t be that. So really what is it?

I miss the 80’s. I had my choice of guys back then. None of them were married. Most were interested and if they weren’t, I could win them over. Of course, looking back, they all had bad hair. Now-a-days, most don’t have any hair! Ha! I do miss the 80’s! But worm holes don’t exist, so I guess I’m stuck in the present (not even a cool decade…the 00’s wtf?) realizing that I don’t understand men (I used to think I did) and probably never will. The funny part is I’m kinda okay with that.