Then There Were Two

Last night I bid adieu to P2. It’s been awhile in coming. He is a really nice person and treated me like a princess and he is sexy (in a guitar playing way) but it really wasn’t meant to be between us. Or so I think. He is still way too much under the thumb of his ex-wife. And, let’s his (young) daughters run his life. I just can’t see myself sticking it out long term without trying to change such behavior. And, we all know better than to try and change other people. Because I am fond of him and think he is a really nice person, I was a man (well, you know) and told him it was over. No, I didn’t do it in person. They tend to end up being tearful and not very effective good-byes. I did it on the phone. I called, we chatted. He asked me how picking music out for Roomie’s wedding went and we chatted about music for a bit. He random babbled (which I find a bit annoying). Then he asked what else was up and I told him that I hadn’t planned on seeing him any more. He told me he figured it was coming based on the time we hadn’t been spending together and the last time we saw each other (his birthday). And, then he said he had to go. He said he wasn’t mad, just had to go. I totally understood. I really would have liked it to work out between us. He had some really endearing qualities. But, when a guy tells you he feels like Larry the Cable guy dating Hil, well, you gotta know that the relationship is pretty much doomed. I’m not that smart, classy or educated and for someone to feel that outclassed, I think the probability of the relationship lasting is about 100-1. I really do hope the best for him. And, I am a little sad it didn’t work out. But, I’ve gotta face the facts and facts are it wasn’t meant to be.

So left in the running are P1 and Young man. P1 and I get on pretty well. We are very comfortable together and at the same point in life. But, he’s a bit reserved and his last marriage ended due to his closed natured. So of course, I’m very guarded with him. We see each other 1-2 times a week and the relationship hasn’t progressed much past the 2nd date. We enjoy the same things and in a very logical way, it seems right.

Young Man (YM from here on out), on the other hand, defies all logic and sensibility! He is adorable and extremely open. He’s brainy, likes quite a few of the same things I do and is constantly romancing me. One day when we were getting snowballs, I told him nerds were my favorite candy. The next time he saw me, he brought me nerds. Another time he brought flowers. He is concerned about my friends and my family and nothing seems to slip past him. He is definitely a thinker. He is also very gracious – always thanking me for this and that - almost too much, but probably just because he wants me to know that he really enjoys being together. It’s hard to miss his enjoying the time because he is so open. But, the age thing weighs heavily on me and I can’t get past it. When I’m ready to retire, he’ll be mid career. He is still too young to decide whether he wants kids or not and I know I’m done. He is young enough to just “enjoy a fling” and I see it as a waste of time when I could be finding my partner. I just find it difficult to believe this is something “of God”. I told him that. I’ve told him I’m dating other guys, too.

Both P1 and YM know I’m dating others. So, I no longer feel pressure to drop one. But, I seriously wonder if the next post might be labeled, then there were none. Cuz, somehow, I don’t think either of these men is who I’m supposed to be with. But for now, there are two.