Beat to Smithereens

I spent several hours with a friend this past weekend. He and I just started chatting and it was amazing at how much we had in common. He is one of the kindest, most honorable people I’ve ever met. It was awesome to chat with him. I came to the realization that when push comes to shove, I’ll always go with my heart over my head.

We were chatting about “spent” relationships. I told him all the “secrets” of my past relationships. He told me his. He is still in love with someone who is bad for him. Everyone is telling him he needs to let her go. I smiled and he asked why. I told him how my advice to everyone is to keep on trying. That if he still loves her, she hasn’t beaten up his heart enough. That at some point, she’ll have beaten all the love out of him and he’ll be ready to let her go. He seemed to like that advice because it allows him to continue to go after her.

I always seem to give (myself and) my friends permission to follow their heart. Sometimes the head gets to the conclusion first and it takes the heart awhile to follow. You will extend your heart time and time again, only to have it bashed by the other person (can you say YBBK?!). Finally, you learn that, for whatever reason, this person will never treat you right. Your friends tell you to stay away because they are trying to protect you from this heartache. But in order to not “what if” yourself, you need to go through this…okay, so I need to go through this! But so do many of my friends, as well.

On some occasions, the other person is honorable (PJ). They won’t engage. They won’t beat you up. In this case, I believe the person is compassionate and honorable. It is what I try to be. When I am done, I am done. There are no games. It is the best thing for the other person. It is how PJ treated me. He knew he couldn’t go on. So instead of playing with my heart, he said goodbye. We still love each other…I believe that. But, it isn’t meant to be.

On very rare occasions, the heart is right…it just needed a little more time to flesh out the issues. In my opinion, it is these times that make it worth it. There is a longing that no one else can satisfy, so you keep going back. Eventually, you work through your demons (together) and then you have the most beautiful relationship ever. Like all rare things, this is incredible. I hope this for my friend…although, sadly I expect she’ll beat him to smithereens.