Get it together

A couple of weeks ago, I went away for a long (Labor Day) weekend. While away...I exercised 4 of the 5 days. I also ate and drank more than I had wanted to. Since I got back, I decided I needed to refocus my life. I am now keeping a Bridget Jones'eqe type diary...just the food, exercise, alcohol, tabacco consumption type! I won't post it here becuase it is quite boring. But my goal is 20 lbs in 10 weeks. that is only 2 lbs a week. I plan to limit caloric intake (doing okay this week) and increase physical activity until I hit my goal. I want to fit into my skinny clothes again. Hell, I want to fit into my "average or winter weight clothes"! The meds I was on after my surgery helped me to pack on an additonal 6-10 pounds. I'll be thrilled when they are the first to go!

This new foucs has left little time for BF. you know the one I've been seeing for about a year. We are going through growing pains. I'm irritated with his lack of commitment or ability to act like I'm a priority. Yet, he freaks out when I try to walk away. I just don't know what to do there. So, it is kinda nice to have a distraction from him. Hard part is I don't like having "loose ends". And, I kinda see the ignoring him as unfinished business. Do I want him or not. He still posses all the beautiful qualities I need in a partner...honest, sincere, kind, private, smart, funny, sexy as all hell, and my dog likes him. But, his other qualities plague my insecurity. He isn't overtly affectionate and doesn't like to talk about the "tough" things. He worries incessantly about when he'll move away...even though that isn't on the books for awhile. These things just drive a wedge between us. I'm not sure I can make it through it. Today is his birthday. So, I'll be sweet and ever present for him. But, then I won't see him all weekend until Sunday afternoon. And, then I won't see him all next week. with this type of pattern, it is just a matter of time before I'm weaned off him...