Retarded or Not Retarded - you be the judge!

What is it with guys???? I mean I know I live by the mantra that boys are retarded, but still can’t I find one guy that proves me wrong??? Okay so you be the judge here and vote….retarded or not?!

So I meet this guy named Stupid…okay so that’s not his name. And I swear, I’m not trying to sway your “retarded or not” vote; I’m only tying to protect the idiot’s identity. I meet Stupid out one night and he is cute (not overly good looking but well enough), funny, sweet and seemingly very interesting. It was his personality that I was really drawn to. He calls the next day while I am hiking. I tell him I’ll call him back when I get off the trail. And I do. Surprisingly he wants to go out that night. I was pretty impressed with him not following the “retarded guy rule” of waiting 3 days to call and I agree. We go downtown to see the Bacon brothers. It was fun. He's really sweet and fun to hang out with. I could be my totally goofy self and he thinks it's cool. He's the right amount of "touchy" and affectionate. Put his arms around me a couple of times, took my hand, etc. He walked me to the door when I got home and kissed me good night. Asked if we could go out again. I told him my schedule of vball and church stuff and he picked my free night of Thursday.

So Thursday comes and as of 4:45 p.m., he still hadn't called (since I saw him on Sunday). So, I called one of my two best friends and asked her what I should do. I wanted to go to the gym and work out but my phone doesn't work at the gym. Didn't want him to think I blew him off but I didn't want to call him (yeah one of my idiosyncrasies). She said give him a courtesy call, so I did. He said he still planned on us going out; just didn't think I'd be out of work yet. So, I worked out and called him when I got home. He headed down to pick me up while I showered and changed. I think we left my house ~7 ish. We went to dinner and at dinner he asked me if I wanted to do something after. I asked if he had seen the other Harry Potter movies and he said he had seen all of them. So I suggested seeing the new one. We walked across the street to the mall, through and around the mall...funny story about finding the movie place which isn't in the mall (maybe another time). It was just after 8:00 and the next movie didn't start til 8:50. We got tickets and went to Maggie Moos for ice cream. Lots of cuddling during the movie and the long walk around the mall on the way back - got home around midnight. Kissy kiss at the door stop. He wanted to see me on Friday but I already had plans to be with my friends. He said he is going to call me and try to pull me away from my friends since he didn't have to work. I said "maybe it will work." Got a “good morning beautiful, have a nice day”, text from him Friday morning. So far “not retarded” right? Cute, funny, fun, sweet… but not retarded…yet!

Friday night at 7:00 p.m. I get a text message asking what I was up to. Well, I was downtown getting ready to see one of my favorite bands (see http://scalzo-writes.blogspot.com/2007/07/kiss-off.html). I tell him about the last minute notification, the show and the location just prior to having beer dumped on me and my phone. That was it for my communication to him until 1 a.m. when I managed to text him and tell him about the waiter and my poor, poor phone. Any way, when I get up Saturday morning, should I say Saturday afternoon 12:03 p.m. or so, there is a text from him that asks if I like tennis (arrived at 10 a.m.). I text back and say yes, but I’m not very good (understatement of the year!). A half hour later he texted me back and says, “Too bad you took so long to get back to me, I already went for a bike ride.” Now I’m thinking WTF? Is that a bitchy tone or what? Can’t you do two physical activities in one day? Or are you just busting my chops? So I just text back, “Sorry. I was exhausted and needed to sleep in. Maybe we can do it tomorrow?” He writes back “yeah, maybe”. Again WTF??!!! Am I sensing a bit of what here? I thought I had the right response… sorry I didn’t text you back immediately…I was sleeping. Yeah, I’m a bit lazy but whatever. I resisted the urge to text back his "yeah, maybe" with “don’t do me any favors!” Yeah, Suga, I know that is what you would’ve done!!! I chose not to reply and just go about my already planned out Saturday and Sunday… Artscape with one friend, dinner and music at the Lakefront with another, church on Sunday and lunch with other friends. About 2 or 3 p.m., I got a text from Stupid asking if I wanted to play. I told him I had just started cutting the lawn. He wrote back he had some things to do, too, so how about in an hour. While that wasn't ideal, I said sure. Well then he texts back, Or, we could go to artscape instead. I wrote that it was a great idea but I had just gone on Saturday. He wrote back "That sucks! There's a Reggae band I really want to see." At this point, I was pretty pissed off. I mean, why ask me to play tennis if he wanted to go to artscape? And, if he really wanted to see this band, then why did he wait til the last minute to ask me? This is NOT logical or considerate of me and my time. So, I texted back, "well, you should go then. I have to be home at 7 p.m. to pick up my daughter at the airport, so we wouldn't have that much time together any way." And you know what he did? He actually wrote, "yeah, that's what I'll do. Talk to you later." WTF??!!!! RETARD!!! So you ask me to play tennis but have no inkling of playing??? Tennis is an hour game that I didn't need to shower and change for. Artscape is a whole other ball park… need to shower, do my hair, dress appropriately, the drive down and back (in traffic and with his piss poor navigational skills – yeah another story about that), walk around, watch the band. In all, it is an investment of a lot of time, etc. If it was really what he wanted to do, they why didn’t he ask me that in the first place?

I really wanted to give him a second chance. Give him the chance to explain the "yeah, maybe" text message he sent Saturday. But as far as I am concerned the retarded card has been thrown and another one bites the dust. Am I really being too harsh????? Tell me Retarded or Not? Not sure you can sway me, though! Stupid is as Stupid does!