Kiss Off

I got to see one of my favorite bands this weekend! I was so excited. My ex bf, who I hang out with as friends, let me know they were playing and asked a bunch of us if we wanted to go. It was awesome. They played Power Plant live in the plaza and they totally rocked out. The whole night was a blast – except for the 3 beers that were dumped on me and my phone by the waiter. He was very apologetic. Luckily, I was wearing khaki colored pants and a pink tank – and the beer wasn't too dark. The worst part was my phone, which was out of commission for a few hours. It seems to be working fine now – knock on wood! They started playing around 9:30 p.m. I couldn't believe how old Gordon looked. But then again, none of us are getting any younger! His vocals were great, Brian and the band sounded phenomenal. They played all the favorites. American Music was played mid-set. I like American Music best, baaaaby! We were at a great spot in the crowd for me to dance as wildly as I have years past. I only saw one body surfer the whole night…which made sense as the crowd was only about ¼ - 1/3 fans. I checked it out right away wondering if I would be able to surf. Instead, I had to settle for dancing the whole time…but I was loving it. The encores were (of course) blister in the sun and Kiss Off. I never realized how appropo kiss off is to describe my life in the past couple of years!
I'll take one, one, one cuz you left me,
222 for my family,
333 for my heartache,
444 for my headache,
555 for my loney and
666 for my sorrow and
77 for no tomorrow,
88, I forget what 8s for and,
999 for a lost god and
10,10,10,10 for everything, everything, everything!
You can just kiss off into the air,
behind my back I can see them stare,
they'll hurt me bad but I don't mind,
they'll hurt me bad, they do it all the time!
It really was a perfect ending to a great night!

Of course there was a downer to the night. It made me sad that x-bf and I aren't together any more. I care for him more than one could imagine, but he has the emotional depth of a teaspoon (yeah I stole that line). Actually, he is emotional, he just likes to bury it deep inside and not let it out. He can't handle other people's emotions and that's what tore us apart. I'm emotional…really???? I needed that support and understanding that he couldn't give me and it tore me apart. Plus, he's told me "you look nice" more times in the past few months than he did the whole year we were together. I need that reassurance. A certain sneaky, lying cheating ex husband destroyed my self confidence and I need to feel like the person I'm with really wants to be with me. I couldn't handle being with someone that didn't make me feel extra special, so we split. It's awesome that we hang out now, but after we hang out, I really wish there was a way to make it all right between us. I'm sure it just was never meant to be but he is still one of the sweetest guys I know.