It's over

Well, it's over. Not all out officially but just the formality of getting stuff back left at each other's place. Oh yeah, and YM coming to terms with it. He's a good person and I think the only reason he's stayed with me for as long is a sense of honor and obligation. but I think once he got into the relationship, he realized he didn't want the relationship i wanted, that I told him I wanted (but he was too infatuated to hear).

He thought he wanted it but what he wanted was an exclusive "casual" dating relationship that included sex. I remember those from my college years. You weren't really thinking about the long term, merging lives, getting married, etc. You just wanted your "boyfriend" who you saw a couple of times a week. The rest of the time you wanted to do you own thing. You thought it was a mature committed relationship. but it wasn't. That's what he or pretty much any other guy his age wants. That's not what I want.

He doesn't want to end it because he doesn't want to hurt me - very noble and honorable of him. But, I don't want that for him or me. So, it's just a matter of time until he realizes it and we end this, which most likely will be the next time we see each other. I can't think of anything that will change the outcome...well, maybe him coming to some crazy conclusion that he can't stand the thought of not having me. But, I'm pretty sure that won't happen.

I've learned alot from this relations ship. But I'll save that for another post. I need to go deliver a pie.