Time for a change!

I know I can be a fucking, whiny-ass bitch.  I also know I'm terrible at asking for what I want in a relationship.  But from here on out, that isn't going to be the case.  I'm crafting a letter to my cabana boy.  I love him dearly but have to ask for my needs to be met.  I expect he'll walk away.  I'm not sure he is ready for what I want and I don't want to waste time waiting around for it.  It is going to tear my heart out when he walks away...but I am ready for it.

Gertrude Stein defined love as "the skillful audacity required to share an inner life."  It suggests that expressing the truth about who you are is not something that amateurs do very well: Practice and ingenuity are required. I am willing to practice this and be committed to that practice.

Her quote also implies that courage is an essential element of successful intimacy. You've got to be adventurous if you want to weave your life together with another's.  I am ready to be courageous, adventurous and strong. 

I want a beautiful, loving, caring relationship where both parties know it is scary but aren't going to let the fear tear them apart. They are willing to be truthful and courageous.  I want this!  I want true love.

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in. " ~ Hub (Second Hand Lions)