Week one log of my whirlwind tour of Asia...
13 days, 4 countries, 9 cities, 13 plane rides...one exhausted little girl!
Day 1:
So I started off today with a flight from Hong Kong to Luzon in the Philippines. The airport story consisted of long lines, my fabulous coworker getting us checked in ahead of time thanks to his preferred flying status, gate agent moving our seats from row 28 to 36 so we could sit across the aisle from each other, just about running through the airport to get to the gate, to find like15 people on a 737 size jet. Lots of empty seats!
Our supplier met us at Clark airport and it was about a 1 hour drive to Subic Bay - where their factory is. The factory is in an industrial complex where the roads have names like Aim High, Innovative Road and Efficiency Way. Factory tour was good but hot - outside air temperature of 90F felt cool compared to the area where the presses and ovens were. I rate the bathrooms on my tours through Asia.. One star for each "amenity": actual toilet (vs. hole in ground), toilet paper, sink, soap, paper towels. The bathroom at the factory was 3 stars (missing paper products). Since day 1 of my Asia trips, I've carried my own paper products (just in case!). The most interesting part of the day was the trip from Subic Bay to Manila - about 3.5 hours by car. The landscape is beautiful - mountains created by volcanoes - so very interesting shapes. Everything is lush and green. My Filipino co-worker told me of some very beautiful areas (with beaches, diving and nice places to hike) in the Philippines and suggested I return and experience some of them.
When we arrived in Manila, I was reminded of the Dominican Republic..very crowded streets with "no rules". Cars ignored the lane markers - at one point I counted 7 cars wide on a 4 lane road. It was bumper to bumper traffic and the scooters/motorcycles drove between the cars. One truck - with the logo "Seasonaire Industrial Works and Trading" had an open bed with about 10 guys (wearing Seasonaire shirts) riding in the back and 4 guys in the Front. Amongst the traffic were "peanut vendors" - guys walking around selling bags (about the size of granola bars) of peanuts and occasionally other items. Open air buses (no windows or doors) carried mobs of people.
When we finally arrived at the Marriott near the airport, our car was stopped at the gate (as were all other ones). A guy walked around with a mirror looking under the vehicle while a K-9 unit sniffed the trunk/back of van. All our bags were scanned as we entered into the hotel (i.e. security screening at airport) and we walked through metal detectors. We went through the same routine at the restaurant. Yes, a bit unnerving to realize these security measures were needed.
Dinner was Chinese food - which was probably better than it's US counterpart but nothing compared to mainland China or Taiwan Chinese food. But, excellent company. One day down- 10 or 11 to go
Day 2:
Today started with early morning flight from Manila to Taipei. I called my Boo and we talked for a bit while I waited in the airport for our flight. I guess both she and Mitsi miss me....she sent me like 4 different pictures after we spoke. My favorite one shown below.
The flight was on Philippines Airline and they have the most hysterically funny saftey message video. I wish I had the mind to tape it. There is no way I can do it justice in attempting to recap it. Which reminds me of the bell hop in Manila. He was showing me my room and how everything worked...the "multinational" outlets, TV, A/C remote. Then he opens the door and says, "here is the iron/ironing board. I feel like houdini. I wonder what is behind this door..." And he opens it up to show the hangers, robes and slippers. Then before he opens the drawer he says, "and in this drawer is the hair dryer!" And, when he opens it, he looks and says, "Phew, I was hoping it was in here. Would have looked bad if it wasn't." Again, I know my recap isn't doing it justice, as his facial expressions and the way he said the words was so funny. No one else in our group got the same "royal" treatment I did. It is always funny how the Asian men feel the need to make sure I am well cared for. I get quite spoiled.
Right now I'm sitting in the Taipei airport waiting on our flight to Beijing. Yep, not even one night in Taipei. I've been to Taiwan 2x before, so there wasn't much that was "new" to me. Taiwan is a beautiful island, though....mountains run down the middle. The east side has beautiful beaches. The people are very nice and very proud of their heirtage and food. Which reminds me, lunch was fabulous - traditional Taiwanese food - which is slightly different than mainland China. I think I like the Taiwanese flavorings better. We had spicy tofu - which was very good. And, a chicken and bamboo soup that I loved. There were other dishes but those two were my favorite. I never knew bamboo had such a lovely flavor to it. Thinking of going to the Asian market near me to see if they have good bamboo there.
Day 3:
Woke up in Beijing this morning. We had an 8:30 meet with a supplier. Yes, we have to work on Saturday. Unfortunately, my co-worker is a work-a-holic. Although it was an important trip – a new supplier that I think is a very good option for our business. I’ve been to Beijing before – seen the Summer Palace, Forbidden City and the Great Wall. I’ve had the Peking Duck – best anywhere! So I don’t feel so deprived this trip. It was a 2 hour drive to the factory – south west of Beijing and unfortunately, the traffic in Beijing was terrible causing it to be more like 3-1/2 hours. Ugh! We arrived in time for lunch. Gotta love the Chinese…no meal skipping here! They put on a very nice spread. My favorite was a “red potato” pastry like thing. Also, the “pie” which is a type of fried dough. I know well enough how many plates come out, so I do my best to only have a little of each and therefore not likely to get overfull. My co-worker hasn’t figured that out yet.
Sadly, at some point in the day, I started to feel sick. My glands got swollen and I’m started to have trouble swallowing. My throat hurts terribly. I did my best to not appear ill. The factory tour was good and after the owner wanted us to stay for dinner and Chinese wine (more like grappa). My co-worker had an evening meeting, so we had to turn them down. I wish that hadn’t been the case. I think it would have been fun to eat and drink with the owner. He was typical older Chinese man – no English, very proud of his business. Those are the type of meals I enjoy the best. The Chinese form bonds over meals and alcohol.
We got back and I had 1-1/2 hours til dinner. I took a bath and napped. I awoke with the glands more swollen and barely able to swallow. I muddled through dinner…spioiling myself with a coconut juice…you can’t get anything like it in the states. It has the consistency of 2% combined with whole milk. No see through at all. Not as sweet as the coconut juice/milk you can get in the states.
As soon as we finished dinner, I went back to the room. I packed up my bags (in preparation for the next day’s departure) and went to bed.
Day 4:
Sunday, I woke up and my glands were still swollen. I looked in the mirror and can see white spots on my tonsils. If it sticks around or I spike a fever, I suspect I have strep throat. But, it might just clear up on its own. No fun being sick in China. Not a big fan of Chinese doctors. But, since Sunday was a travel day, it wasn’t too bad. Rode to airport, plane to Hangzhou, 2.5 hour car ride to Jinhua. We arrived before 4 p.m. and I ended up sleeping until dinner at 6:30. I was under the impression we’d be meeting Luke in the Hangzhou airport and he’d be riding with us to Jinhua. When he wasn’t there, I assumed he wouldn’t be joining us. But when I met everyone for dinner, there Luke was. I was so happy. Luke is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. He is kind, courteous and makes an extra effort to make visitors feel welcome. I confided in him that I was sick. So, at dinner, he made sure we ordered some fruit juice for me, to help get me the vitamins needed. He also told me that if I didn’t feel better, I was to let him and he’d make sure I got to a doctor for meds. Because I was feeling so yucky, I don’t recall much about dinner. The owner of Sun-Flex seemed very nice (he joined us for dinner). Nothing really stands out in my mind…but again, I’m sure it is because I was feeling so sick. I went to bed right after dinner.
Day 5:
It is getting late, so I probably won’t be writing much about today. We visited two suppliers. The neat thing on the way to the first one was as we drove through the city center. One the actual sidewalks, people were playing badminton! In the park across the street, they were doing what looked like tai chi. it is very cool to see these displays…which reminds me, as we arrived in Zhengzhou or wherever this hotel is (about ½ hour from Zhengzhou), people were watching three ladies dancing on stage, but also imitating them. It looked like Tai Chi again. So interesting to see.
Okay, I should sleep soon. As the trip goes on, the time to write seems less and less. Mostly because I am now sleeping soundly through the night and not waking up early (leaving me time to write).
Day 6:I visited the city Zhengzhou. There were two new suppliers we were evaluating there. While visiting the first one, it seemed part of the city was being torn down. There were bricks all over the place and the dust was at least 10 mm thick. Upon talking to the supplier, we find out that they are knocking down a lot of the old buildings to add “green space” or so it seems. The first supplier we visited was building a new plant in the “development area”. This is a new part of the city that used to be a rural area where they are putting up building after building. The new factory that is being built will have double the capacaity of the old one. They will also have dormitories for the workers. Our host was very proud of the area being built for the dorms and wanted to show them to us. While touring the construction of the new factory, I noted an area where the workers were working. They had a few cots (with bug netting), a seating area, cooking area and food area right within the building being built. My guess is the guys who are working there camp out at night, since they don’t live close to the facility being built.
The second place we visiting was a bit smaller. They provided a large variety of products. Some of the products they provided were put together by hand in a very tedious process. My co-worker leaned and whispered, “I feel sorry for those girls,” indicating the ones doing the work. I noted they were about Boo’s age. I couldn’t help but think about how if she had been born in China, most likely, she’d be a candidate for such an existence.
Day 7:
The next city we visited was Shunde. Shunde is located in South China. It is near Shenzhen, which is one of the first places I visited in China. When I first visited Shenzhen, it was a rural area that was just getting manufacturing. Ten years later, it reminded me of Hong Kong…a built up city with shopping malls and Starbucks. I think it is about a 2 hour drive from Shude to Shenzhen. Shunde is a manufacturing city…like many of the others I’ve visited.
Sadly, that which stands out is one of rudeness. I was checking into the Sheraton hotel and was in the line for Starwood Preferred Guests…which I am a member. The lady behind the counter was working on my room when a man came up and interrupted. She explained she was busy but he wasn’t having it. Of course, I don’t understand the language. All I know is there was a lot of talk back and forth where it looked like she asked him to wait and told him she was working with me. I truly believe he expected her to stop what she was doing with me and take care of him. I’m not positive of his nationality. But he was Asian. The next morning, when checking out, I had almost the exact same thing happen. For whatever reason, these men seemed to think they didn’t have to wait their turn and they didn’t need to acknowledge the fact that the clerk was busy with another customer. And, in both cases, the ladies behind the counter seemed to politely tell them they were busy and had to wait…more than one time to convince the men to go away. In neither case did the man wait to have his issue resolved. Odd.
Showing posts with label travels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travels. Show all posts
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Friday, November 18, 2011
One more day
The wall was everything I thought it would be. As I walked up to it (about a half hour walk up a billion stairs) all I could think about was dragging the material to build it up the moutain. As I walked along it, I wondered about the building techniques they employed in the Middle Ages to make it stand the test of time. As I looked and saw it stretch in both directions, up and down the mountain ridge, as far as the eye could see, I wondered how many laborers it took. What an amazing engineering feat! I took like 300 photos...I couldn't help myself. We were late getting to lunch and subsquently, barely made it to our flights on time. I think I would have missed my flight, had it not been delayed due to "mechanical issues." Not the most reassuring to know my plane in China has mechanical issues! I've seen Chinese "rework" first hand! LOL!!
Every day is a new discovery here. I love that...if not discovering some historical information, perhaps cultural norms or behavior, seeing something beautiful and "famous" or just learning something new about myself...like what I value in my friends and lovers. Not that I have a Chinese lover...although, the Taiwanese men seem drawn to me like moths to a flame. In China, the men were very friendly and kind toward me. But in Taiwan, they flirt outrageously and stare at me when they think I won't notice. I've learned to understand the word for pretty. One asked today if my daughter was as beautiful as I am. I told him she was far more beautiful. He told me it was not possible. I'm not sure why they find me so pretty - the women here are stunning. But, perhaps it is my "red" (is it really red?) hair. Or maybe my cheerful disposition. When I was buying a camera yesterday (lost mine - not sure how!), the man who owned the store told HC that I seemed to be smiling even though my camera was gone and I had to buy a new one. She told him that I understood these things happen and there is no use being upset over it. He said he thought I was smiling because I knew I looked pretty when I smiled. At first she wouldn't tell me what he said, but I had told her he said something about pretty. So she confessed...thinking I'd feel slighted. I laughed and told her that it is hard to feel slighted in a foreign culture - part of the reason I loved it here. She understood because she went to school in the US as a foreigner.
I have come to realize that what I want in a lover is someone who takes care of me. I've found the Chinese and Taiwanese men all to be caregivers toward me. Not that they are all that way with their mates - perhaps because I am a guest and they feel that way toward their guests. But as Double L took me all over China - insisted on carrying my bags (or telling his subordinates to do so), made sure I had enough to eat, got to my room okay, had every need taken care of, I realized that I adored that trait in others. Both Double L and Kz are honest men and they made sure I was protected and cared for. I will always feel a strong bond of friendship for them. It is that type of person that I will one day fall in love with. Someone who is honorable and caring. I now know exactly what I want in a man and why I am attracted to certain types of men. I would have never thought that would be something I'd discover on such a trip.
Tomorrow is my last day. I haven't written as much as I wanted and am hoping my notes will help me to record everything. I know they are inadequate, though. Also, I know that next week won't give me as much time as I think I'll have because I've already made "dates" half the week away! My friends are looking forward to my return...I am sooo sooo sooo blessed!
Tomorrow will be a day of pampering thanks to HC. She figured I had already visited many of the cultural aspects of Taichung area - Lugong, Sun moon lake, night market, and the art show (that she took me to yesterday). So she said we'd do a girl's day - spa and sushi! It will be too much fun. But after that, I'll be ready to go home. I'm not as physically tired as I was the last trip but, I'm worn out emotionally and intellectually and need my week off to recover.
Xie Xie Zhōng guó
Every day is a new discovery here. I love that...if not discovering some historical information, perhaps cultural norms or behavior, seeing something beautiful and "famous" or just learning something new about myself...like what I value in my friends and lovers. Not that I have a Chinese lover...although, the Taiwanese men seem drawn to me like moths to a flame. In China, the men were very friendly and kind toward me. But in Taiwan, they flirt outrageously and stare at me when they think I won't notice. I've learned to understand the word for pretty. One asked today if my daughter was as beautiful as I am. I told him she was far more beautiful. He told me it was not possible. I'm not sure why they find me so pretty - the women here are stunning. But, perhaps it is my "red" (is it really red?) hair. Or maybe my cheerful disposition. When I was buying a camera yesterday (lost mine - not sure how!), the man who owned the store told HC that I seemed to be smiling even though my camera was gone and I had to buy a new one. She told him that I understood these things happen and there is no use being upset over it. He said he thought I was smiling because I knew I looked pretty when I smiled. At first she wouldn't tell me what he said, but I had told her he said something about pretty. So she confessed...thinking I'd feel slighted. I laughed and told her that it is hard to feel slighted in a foreign culture - part of the reason I loved it here. She understood because she went to school in the US as a foreigner.
I have come to realize that what I want in a lover is someone who takes care of me. I've found the Chinese and Taiwanese men all to be caregivers toward me. Not that they are all that way with their mates - perhaps because I am a guest and they feel that way toward their guests. But as Double L took me all over China - insisted on carrying my bags (or telling his subordinates to do so), made sure I had enough to eat, got to my room okay, had every need taken care of, I realized that I adored that trait in others. Both Double L and Kz are honest men and they made sure I was protected and cared for. I will always feel a strong bond of friendship for them. It is that type of person that I will one day fall in love with. Someone who is honorable and caring. I now know exactly what I want in a man and why I am attracted to certain types of men. I would have never thought that would be something I'd discover on such a trip.
Tomorrow is my last day. I haven't written as much as I wanted and am hoping my notes will help me to record everything. I know they are inadequate, though. Also, I know that next week won't give me as much time as I think I'll have because I've already made "dates" half the week away! My friends are looking forward to my return...I am sooo sooo sooo blessed!
Tomorrow will be a day of pampering thanks to HC. She figured I had already visited many of the cultural aspects of Taichung area - Lugong, Sun moon lake, night market, and the art show (that she took me to yesterday). So she said we'd do a girl's day - spa and sushi! It will be too much fun. But after that, I'll be ready to go home. I'm not as physically tired as I was the last trip but, I'm worn out emotionally and intellectually and need my week off to recover.
Xie Xie Zhōng guó
Saturday, November 12, 2011
One more dream...
Today I go see the wall...actually we leave in about 15 minutes. I should be checking out of the hotel...
This trip has been amazing...well, other than the work and very long days. There is so much to see and such clarity in my brain when I'm removed from all the distractions of my world. I would love to do this the rest of my life...visit places, see, hear and feel and then record it. I'm too busy to record it in writing as it deserves. I'm taking notes in hope of writing when I get back. I do hope I can fulfill that. It would just be for me...for a hobby...although, my lifelong passion.
Onto the wall...I know I'm gonna cry when I see it!
This trip has been amazing...well, other than the work and very long days. There is so much to see and such clarity in my brain when I'm removed from all the distractions of my world. I would love to do this the rest of my life...visit places, see, hear and feel and then record it. I'm too busy to record it in writing as it deserves. I'm taking notes in hope of writing when I get back. I do hope I can fulfill that. It would just be for me...for a hobby...although, my lifelong passion.
Onto the wall...I know I'm gonna cry when I see it!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
China Thoughts
It has been eleven years, almost to the day, since I've been in China. And wow, has it changed. I am in Shenzhen. This city of about 10 million people was just a village of 1000 or so about 30 years ago, so imagine how it has changed in 11 years. It is a strange combination of pre-capitalization and post, in it's construction and areas around the city. It is a huge sprawling city. One business man I met compared it to Houston...I've never been to Houston, so I have no idea. It takes about 30 minutes (by cab) to get from center city (where my hotel is) to the edge of the city, where the "painter's village" is. And the cabbies drive like the ones in NYC (the one from the opera - the one I liked) or kinda like me (if you've ever been so privileged)...dodging in and out of traffic and making the best time possible. So, if you drive like PJ (aka very patiently), you can expect that to take a bit longer.
Every thing has become more westernized here. The restaurants and malls near my hotel are similar to home...in style and price. Actually, the style here reminds me more of NYC... a bit ahead of Baltimore fashion wise. My co-workers who live here say when it comes to "world brands" (translated designer brands) it's cheaper to buy clothes in Hong Kong than in Shenzhen. That means the prices here are comparable to NYC. Of course, you have all the "copies" here (as in NYC) where you can get the fakes for a much better price. Yes, all this shopping talk probably has Rach and C2 scratching their heads. Other than checking out the shoes, there has been no shopping going on...well other than the painter's village where i picked up one painting for 40 RMB (about $6). It's a nice souvenir. Any way, the shopping is a definite indicator of the influence of the west. Last time I was here, all the clothes were priced much less expensive than home.
My friend Mel took me to the painter's village today. It's row after row of paintings. Some are traditional Chinese, some more western style. Mel is very knowledgeable about art, so he told me much about traditional Chinese art. Some of the traditional art is based on poems that talk about the feng shui of an area. It's best to have your house situated with it's back to the mountain and front facing water. I'm down with that! There are many traditional Chinese prints with this type of scenery. Also, mountains with clouds. The artists also try to create "space" in the pictures for the viewer. It creates a peaceful feeling. There are four traditional flowers - one for each season: the lotus (summer), chrysanthemum (fall), flowering plum (winter), and the peony (spring). Trees also play a significant part. The three friends of winter are the three trees of bamboo, pine and flowering plum. These images are often portrayed in Chinese art.
What hasn't changed about China is the gracious way in which it's people welcome vistors (namely me). While I didn't request anyone to accompany me during the weekend, none of my associates in the local office would hear of me being alone in the city. Anything I wanted to do, any place I wanted to go, they were more than willing to take time out of their personal schedule to show me. They also thought of things I might what to see and places I might want to go. I can't imagine anyone visiting this country and then saying the people were anything but extremely welcoming. The kids, like kids everywhere, have absolutely no inhibitions. In some of the areas where my hosts have taken me, I'm pretty sure they haven't seen too many western women. The kids make sure they get a very close look at me. It isn't quite as noticable as eleven years ago (the adults weren't as sly in their second glances back then), but it is still here.
Well, that's about it for now.
peace
Every thing has become more westernized here. The restaurants and malls near my hotel are similar to home...in style and price. Actually, the style here reminds me more of NYC... a bit ahead of Baltimore fashion wise. My co-workers who live here say when it comes to "world brands" (translated designer brands) it's cheaper to buy clothes in Hong Kong than in Shenzhen. That means the prices here are comparable to NYC. Of course, you have all the "copies" here (as in NYC) where you can get the fakes for a much better price. Yes, all this shopping talk probably has Rach and C2 scratching their heads. Other than checking out the shoes, there has been no shopping going on...well other than the painter's village where i picked up one painting for 40 RMB (about $6). It's a nice souvenir. Any way, the shopping is a definite indicator of the influence of the west. Last time I was here, all the clothes were priced much less expensive than home.
My friend Mel took me to the painter's village today. It's row after row of paintings. Some are traditional Chinese, some more western style. Mel is very knowledgeable about art, so he told me much about traditional Chinese art. Some of the traditional art is based on poems that talk about the feng shui of an area. It's best to have your house situated with it's back to the mountain and front facing water. I'm down with that! There are many traditional Chinese prints with this type of scenery. Also, mountains with clouds. The artists also try to create "space" in the pictures for the viewer. It creates a peaceful feeling. There are four traditional flowers - one for each season: the lotus (summer), chrysanthemum (fall), flowering plum (winter), and the peony (spring). Trees also play a significant part. The three friends of winter are the three trees of bamboo, pine and flowering plum. These images are often portrayed in Chinese art.
What hasn't changed about China is the gracious way in which it's people welcome vistors (namely me). While I didn't request anyone to accompany me during the weekend, none of my associates in the local office would hear of me being alone in the city. Anything I wanted to do, any place I wanted to go, they were more than willing to take time out of their personal schedule to show me. They also thought of things I might what to see and places I might want to go. I can't imagine anyone visiting this country and then saying the people were anything but extremely welcoming. The kids, like kids everywhere, have absolutely no inhibitions. In some of the areas where my hosts have taken me, I'm pretty sure they haven't seen too many western women. The kids make sure they get a very close look at me. It isn't quite as noticable as eleven years ago (the adults weren't as sly in their second glances back then), but it is still here.
Well, that's about it for now.
peace
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I'm back...
Ni Hao! And it's taken me until mid-November to post! Whoopsie!!! It has really taken me about 2 weeks to get things back under control and in order though. But it finally feels like everything is. Yippeee!
The trip was most fabulous. Some crazy moments though. Like having a meeting while a rooster crowed repeatedly in the background. The factory of the supplier i was visiting in Taiwan was right next to a little farm. Or riding in the car with one of the younger sales people, with Green Day cranked watching the Taiwanese landscape fly by. Then there was the feeling of euphoria everytime I opened the rest room door and there was an actual toilet AND toilet paper. The only thing worse than having to drip dry, is have to squat to pee in a hole in the floor and then having to drip dry. Side note: this happened only once...I carried TP with me at all times after that!
Since I got back, ex-friend has pretty much shunned me. I tried to have lunch with him one day and he was busy. Didn't suggest we try another time. But two days later he emails less than an hour before lunch telling me where "the crew" was eating. I had thought maybe he had at least a little interest in the trip. But, not to be. I was home sick and told him so. He never replied and I haven't heard from him since. Men truly confound me!
Not much to say on PJ. It's frustrating not coming home to him and having to wait until Turkey day to see him. I feel like the long distance doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me. It is soooo annoying to think that I have finally found a man who stimulates my brain as well as my body but to not be able to be with him to be sure it is true. It just doesn't seem fair. I know, life just isn't. But why does mine always seem to be more unfair than all others??!
Work is okay...actually not really. My company being acquired and all. But, for the time being, it is business as usual. There is no point worrying about next year. I might be dead by then...haha. very morbid joke, but definitely a way to look at things. Any way, I'm knee deep in Kimshi any way. A huge project that some associates have messed up. I'm fire fighting the clean up with time about to run out. No time to worry or fuss about the acquisition.
With all that being said, I'm still happy. I'm not sure why. I guess I still feel blessed to have the best friends in the world. And, to be surrounded by so much love. It really does make the difficult times seem almost easy.
I'll try to write more. Maybe tell you about my interaction with the cowardly ex. Yep...that should keep you coming back until I write again.
Xie-Xie for listening.
The trip was most fabulous. Some crazy moments though. Like having a meeting while a rooster crowed repeatedly in the background. The factory of the supplier i was visiting in Taiwan was right next to a little farm. Or riding in the car with one of the younger sales people, with Green Day cranked watching the Taiwanese landscape fly by. Then there was the feeling of euphoria everytime I opened the rest room door and there was an actual toilet AND toilet paper. The only thing worse than having to drip dry, is have to squat to pee in a hole in the floor and then having to drip dry. Side note: this happened only once...I carried TP with me at all times after that!
Since I got back, ex-friend has pretty much shunned me. I tried to have lunch with him one day and he was busy. Didn't suggest we try another time. But two days later he emails less than an hour before lunch telling me where "the crew" was eating. I had thought maybe he had at least a little interest in the trip. But, not to be. I was home sick and told him so. He never replied and I haven't heard from him since. Men truly confound me!
Not much to say on PJ. It's frustrating not coming home to him and having to wait until Turkey day to see him. I feel like the long distance doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me. It is soooo annoying to think that I have finally found a man who stimulates my brain as well as my body but to not be able to be with him to be sure it is true. It just doesn't seem fair. I know, life just isn't. But why does mine always seem to be more unfair than all others??!
Work is okay...actually not really. My company being acquired and all. But, for the time being, it is business as usual. There is no point worrying about next year. I might be dead by then...haha. very morbid joke, but definitely a way to look at things. Any way, I'm knee deep in Kimshi any way. A huge project that some associates have messed up. I'm fire fighting the clean up with time about to run out. No time to worry or fuss about the acquisition.
With all that being said, I'm still happy. I'm not sure why. I guess I still feel blessed to have the best friends in the world. And, to be surrounded by so much love. It really does make the difficult times seem almost easy.
I'll try to write more. Maybe tell you about my interaction with the cowardly ex. Yep...that should keep you coming back until I write again.
Xie-Xie for listening.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
She's Back!!!!!
“Just get your ticket and come over. I’ll take care of the rest.” That’s how the Tom Foolery started…emphasis on foolery! Why was I so naïve foolish to believe him? He is so into “looking” fashionable and having nice things, but so cheap when it comes to spending money on a woman! Yep, it’s going to be that type of blog! I wrote it, by hand, in Heathrow airport.
Leading up to the trip, there were many phone calls (on his part) to me telling me how excited he was to have me, how he couldn’t wait to see me, missed me and even the “l” word. None of which I responded to all that much, but it did get my hopes up. Maybe this trip would show me that the break up was a mistake…ha!
I arrive and things start out well. He had even made up the extra bedroom to prove to me that he wasn’t expecting anything from me…else it was a ruse. You’ll have to decide. I unpacked and took forever to get ready to go out…only because I couldn’t find anything. But, we went into Windsor and started the tour with a pub. I was hungry and so was he. He bought lunch and beers and said, “you can get the next round.” You could have heard the tires screeching in my head at that point. What, but didn’t you say…”I’ll take care of the rest.” WTF??? Any way, we eat and explore the area. I enjoyed the day immensely. He even cooked me dinner and turned down my request to help.
Day two we go into London and it is there that his attitude started. They didn’t take credit cards for purchases under 10 pounds and two beers were never above that. I bought lunch that day. But he still bitched about having to buy me beer. Cheap ass bastard! I did have fun despite his whiny cheap ass behavior. I drank too much, too.
The third day I was hung over big time. We talk a walk along the river in Windsor and decided to go for a drive to a pub in the country. When we go there, I couldn’t bear the thought of drinking. I had a ginger ale. He ordered a pint and the tab can to less than four pounds. The minimum was 5. I had planned on just paying it and telling the bartender to keep the change – just to keep him from whining. But he paid for it and bitched. My soda cost less than a half a pound. What f-ing bioche!!!!!!! I spent 50 lbs on a curry dinner that night to shut his whiny ass up!
I wonder if he realizes how unappealing it makes him. Even more so is his thinking that he is so worldly and cultured. He isn’t even close. He is so egocentric – if it isn’t London fashionable, then it isn’t fashionable. If you can’t eat as much food as him (considering I’m at least 50 lbs lighter!), then there is something wrong with you. If you aren’t him, then you aren’t right. There is no such thing as “acceptable’ difference. It is his way or the highway! It is funny that he sees himself as charming. But he didn’t understand why I had said he is charming when he tries! I think it insulted him. I believe real charm goes beyond being charming to get what you want. I wonder if being an Indian in the UK gave him an inferiority complex. His reason for being an arrogant, holier than thou, consumed with materialistic goods, putz. Definitely not me!
I figured it all out on the first day. He knew all the “lovely” pubs. Yes, it’s nice to go out for a drink and food, but that seemed like it was the extent of his leisure time. Hmmm.. Then, when we were in London (day 2) and he was bitching about me not exchanging money (hadn’t been afforded the opportunity), I was sure we couldn’t be bf and gf. You just don’t treat a guest, friend or someone you care about like that. I couldn’t stand his stinginess.
He actually thinks he will be a good dad! With his intent on looking good, having the best of things and being so self-centered, there is no way he would make of a good dad. He never approves of anything anyone else does. Those poor kids would be so messed up – they would have no self-esteen. Funny how I didn’t remember what a jerk he can be!
I guess I thought the issues we had when we were together was from the time – me being sensitive and having low self-esteem coming out of my divorce and him still hurting from his divorce. But it wasn’t. He is just a demanding, unrelenting ass who doesn’t care how rude or how much of a jerk he can be.
Oh and he has no sense of humor, either. I can’t believe how horrible it was to try and crack a joke with him. He only liked poking fun at other people. I thought most people out grew that after teens or at least by the time they were 30! Apparently not him, nor his friends.
On the fourth day, I woke up in a good mood, over my hangover, trying to be cheerful and make conversation. He was miserable – such a moody person. He changed plans and instead of staying in the south, he wanted to drive back to Windsor that day. Then he was too cheap to pay for a ticket (6.50) to go into Stonehenge with me…AWESOME by the way. 3000 years old, maintained for 1500 years. And yep, I got to see it!!!! Woo hoo! There was an awesome audo tour (head phones) but I was too afraid to listen to the whole thing because he’d yell I had taken too long. I realized I had become afraid to speak, afraid to move under his constant eye and sharp tongue. What a horrible way to live! We then went to the seaside. I got some sun as we drove with the op down of his porche boxter. Nice car but I was terrified I’d do something wrong and be chastised for it. The beach was nice, it was beautiful weather and I got to “dip my paddies in the water.” But his company was less than.
When we got back to Windsor that day, he was too tired to make dinner… a salad. I volunteered but when he heard me drop something (an onion), he had to come into the kitchen and scrutinize all that I did. I Didn’t was the pepper well enough. Then, I was using the “wrong” knife to chop the pepper. He told me to get out, he’d do it himself. Very calmly (and jokingly but honestly) told him this was why I had said he was anal rententive earlier. I went into living room and started to read. About 5 minutes later, he comes in with a glass of wine, tells me he is no longer hungry, he’s just having wine and I can make my own dinner. As I walked into the kitchen, he said he didn’t want me to make any for him. I told him to fire up the computer and I was going to change my ticket home for the next day. He was flabbergasted and didn’t believe me.
But, my mind was made up. I wasn’t happy about being stuck with him when he was moody but there is no way anyone will ever treat me with such disrespect. There is no way I will put up with that behavior from anyone, ever! So, without losing my temper, yelling or calling names, I changed my ticket and returned home 2 days earlier than planned.
Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t feel sorry. It was a good trip. I came home before it was ruined. I got to see the moors of England, go into the English channel and see the “English Rivera”. I got to see the fields of yellow – not sure what they were, as I couldn’t understand the word he said “something” oil. They make a bio-fuel out of it. I got to see Windsor castle, walk on the Long Walk, explore London, puke on a train (don’t ride backwards when you’ve mixed beer with cinder) and see Prince Harry’s Ferrari (not really that much of a highlight but still). And, I found myself while I was there. I know many more things about me. I am granola – yep still am always will be. Money, cars, expensive furniture ($750 lamp??? Who does that?), fashionable clothes…they don’t impress me. A kind word, a nice smile, consideration, holding your tongue when you want to be mean, intelligent conversation – these things all impress me. I learned I have to pick my travel companions carefully. I can be kind, considerate and hold my head up when I’m being treated poorly but still walk away and don’t allow myself to be a door mat.
When I got home, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone I was back. I wanted “me” time. I took it and did some home maintenance and self maintenance. And, after all this reflection, I have realized... I am back! I am whole! Everything the ex took from me has been restored through time and the healing power of God. I know who I am and what I want. And, I don’t feel like I have to search so hard for someone. I am happy with who I am and where I am in life. And, I now know, I will never, ever commit Tom Foolery again!!!!!!!
Leading up to the trip, there were many phone calls (on his part) to me telling me how excited he was to have me, how he couldn’t wait to see me, missed me and even the “l” word. None of which I responded to all that much, but it did get my hopes up. Maybe this trip would show me that the break up was a mistake…ha!
I arrive and things start out well. He had even made up the extra bedroom to prove to me that he wasn’t expecting anything from me…else it was a ruse. You’ll have to decide. I unpacked and took forever to get ready to go out…only because I couldn’t find anything. But, we went into Windsor and started the tour with a pub. I was hungry and so was he. He bought lunch and beers and said, “you can get the next round.” You could have heard the tires screeching in my head at that point. What, but didn’t you say…”I’ll take care of the rest.” WTF??? Any way, we eat and explore the area. I enjoyed the day immensely. He even cooked me dinner and turned down my request to help.
Day two we go into London and it is there that his attitude started. They didn’t take credit cards for purchases under 10 pounds and two beers were never above that. I bought lunch that day. But he still bitched about having to buy me beer. Cheap ass bastard! I did have fun despite his whiny cheap ass behavior. I drank too much, too.
The third day I was hung over big time. We talk a walk along the river in Windsor and decided to go for a drive to a pub in the country. When we go there, I couldn’t bear the thought of drinking. I had a ginger ale. He ordered a pint and the tab can to less than four pounds. The minimum was 5. I had planned on just paying it and telling the bartender to keep the change – just to keep him from whining. But he paid for it and bitched. My soda cost less than a half a pound. What f-ing bioche!!!!!!! I spent 50 lbs on a curry dinner that night to shut his whiny ass up!
I wonder if he realizes how unappealing it makes him. Even more so is his thinking that he is so worldly and cultured. He isn’t even close. He is so egocentric – if it isn’t London fashionable, then it isn’t fashionable. If you can’t eat as much food as him (considering I’m at least 50 lbs lighter!), then there is something wrong with you. If you aren’t him, then you aren’t right. There is no such thing as “acceptable’ difference. It is his way or the highway! It is funny that he sees himself as charming. But he didn’t understand why I had said he is charming when he tries! I think it insulted him. I believe real charm goes beyond being charming to get what you want. I wonder if being an Indian in the UK gave him an inferiority complex. His reason for being an arrogant, holier than thou, consumed with materialistic goods, putz. Definitely not me!
I figured it all out on the first day. He knew all the “lovely” pubs. Yes, it’s nice to go out for a drink and food, but that seemed like it was the extent of his leisure time. Hmmm.. Then, when we were in London (day 2) and he was bitching about me not exchanging money (hadn’t been afforded the opportunity), I was sure we couldn’t be bf and gf. You just don’t treat a guest, friend or someone you care about like that. I couldn’t stand his stinginess.
He actually thinks he will be a good dad! With his intent on looking good, having the best of things and being so self-centered, there is no way he would make of a good dad. He never approves of anything anyone else does. Those poor kids would be so messed up – they would have no self-esteen. Funny how I didn’t remember what a jerk he can be!
I guess I thought the issues we had when we were together was from the time – me being sensitive and having low self-esteem coming out of my divorce and him still hurting from his divorce. But it wasn’t. He is just a demanding, unrelenting ass who doesn’t care how rude or how much of a jerk he can be.
Oh and he has no sense of humor, either. I can’t believe how horrible it was to try and crack a joke with him. He only liked poking fun at other people. I thought most people out grew that after teens or at least by the time they were 30! Apparently not him, nor his friends.
On the fourth day, I woke up in a good mood, over my hangover, trying to be cheerful and make conversation. He was miserable – such a moody person. He changed plans and instead of staying in the south, he wanted to drive back to Windsor that day. Then he was too cheap to pay for a ticket (6.50) to go into Stonehenge with me…AWESOME by the way. 3000 years old, maintained for 1500 years. And yep, I got to see it!!!! Woo hoo! There was an awesome audo tour (head phones) but I was too afraid to listen to the whole thing because he’d yell I had taken too long. I realized I had become afraid to speak, afraid to move under his constant eye and sharp tongue. What a horrible way to live! We then went to the seaside. I got some sun as we drove with the op down of his porche boxter. Nice car but I was terrified I’d do something wrong and be chastised for it. The beach was nice, it was beautiful weather and I got to “dip my paddies in the water.” But his company was less than.
When we got back to Windsor that day, he was too tired to make dinner… a salad. I volunteered but when he heard me drop something (an onion), he had to come into the kitchen and scrutinize all that I did. I Didn’t was the pepper well enough. Then, I was using the “wrong” knife to chop the pepper. He told me to get out, he’d do it himself. Very calmly (and jokingly but honestly) told him this was why I had said he was anal rententive earlier. I went into living room and started to read. About 5 minutes later, he comes in with a glass of wine, tells me he is no longer hungry, he’s just having wine and I can make my own dinner. As I walked into the kitchen, he said he didn’t want me to make any for him. I told him to fire up the computer and I was going to change my ticket home for the next day. He was flabbergasted and didn’t believe me.
But, my mind was made up. I wasn’t happy about being stuck with him when he was moody but there is no way anyone will ever treat me with such disrespect. There is no way I will put up with that behavior from anyone, ever! So, without losing my temper, yelling or calling names, I changed my ticket and returned home 2 days earlier than planned.
Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t feel sorry. It was a good trip. I came home before it was ruined. I got to see the moors of England, go into the English channel and see the “English Rivera”. I got to see the fields of yellow – not sure what they were, as I couldn’t understand the word he said “something” oil. They make a bio-fuel out of it. I got to see Windsor castle, walk on the Long Walk, explore London, puke on a train (don’t ride backwards when you’ve mixed beer with cinder) and see Prince Harry’s Ferrari (not really that much of a highlight but still). And, I found myself while I was there. I know many more things about me. I am granola – yep still am always will be. Money, cars, expensive furniture ($750 lamp??? Who does that?), fashionable clothes…they don’t impress me. A kind word, a nice smile, consideration, holding your tongue when you want to be mean, intelligent conversation – these things all impress me. I learned I have to pick my travel companions carefully. I can be kind, considerate and hold my head up when I’m being treated poorly but still walk away and don’t allow myself to be a door mat.
When I got home, I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone I was back. I wanted “me” time. I took it and did some home maintenance and self maintenance. And, after all this reflection, I have realized... I am back! I am whole! Everything the ex took from me has been restored through time and the healing power of God. I know who I am and what I want. And, I don’t feel like I have to search so hard for someone. I am happy with who I am and where I am in life. And, I now know, I will never, ever commit Tom Foolery again!!!!!!!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Try not to miss me too much
I'm off to the UK to commit Tom Foolery. I plan to have a lovely time and be a happy camper!
When I get back, I'll tell you all about Rising Sun and our chat at the gym yesterday!
Try not to miss me!
When I get back, I'll tell you all about Rising Sun and our chat at the gym yesterday!
Try not to miss me!
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