I will be conducting my own American Idol search. We will call it the Abercrombie to Scratch my Itch search. This was not my idea but, I LOVE it, named it, and have embellished on it.
It started out innocently enough. I was telling M&M that I was tired of being in this draught. He explained to me that I needed a FB- knowing full well it’s not something my psyche can handle. He likes to taunt me! I told him FBs weren’t that easy to come by (pun intended as well!). So M&M comes up with the initial plan. He and my two BFF will conduct the search.
We have the perfect panel. R can be the cold hearted bitch who taunts the male contestants. No stretch for her as she does this on a regular basis. And, she derives great pleasure from it. She is our Simon. Then there is M&M, he just loves every guy I describe to him. Oh, he sounds nice, promising, etc. Are you excited about your date? He is just so sugary sweet and likes to shop. No he’s not gay but he’ll play one on TV. He’ll be my Paula. Then there is C2. She knows me like no one else. She’s level headed - knows when to plug her nose and say you stink. And knows when to give the sideways glance and say he’s fi-ine. She’ll be our Randy. It’s perfect. My panel is just as ethnically diverse. White man, wet back marine and a half-breed.
The first show will just be the men parading out however they dressed themselves. They get to answer one question. Simon will provide the questions on the fly. She’s witty, so there will be plenty of entertainment there. Paula can judge the answers…”oh he seems like he’s just so nice.” And Randy will checkout their bods. No biceps, no second show! Big belly, bye bye.
The second show will consist of some sort of conversation requirement. This one can be handled by Randy. She’ll be good at interviewing the guys. She can bring hubby in as a guest to try and make the guys more at ease. Simon will still be allowed to taunt them - especially if they start sounding pompous or too slick. Paula can pick out their clothes for that show and the next.
It started out innocently enough. I was telling M&M that I was tired of being in this draught. He explained to me that I needed a FB- knowing full well it’s not something my psyche can handle. He likes to taunt me! I told him FBs weren’t that easy to come by (pun intended as well!). So M&M comes up with the initial plan. He and my two BFF will conduct the search.
We have the perfect panel. R can be the cold hearted bitch who taunts the male contestants. No stretch for her as she does this on a regular basis. And, she derives great pleasure from it. She is our Simon. Then there is M&M, he just loves every guy I describe to him. Oh, he sounds nice, promising, etc. Are you excited about your date? He is just so sugary sweet and likes to shop. No he’s not gay but he’ll play one on TV. He’ll be my Paula. Then there is C2. She knows me like no one else. She’s level headed - knows when to plug her nose and say you stink. And knows when to give the sideways glance and say he’s fi-ine. She’ll be our Randy. It’s perfect. My panel is just as ethnically diverse. White man, wet back marine and a half-breed.
The first show will just be the men parading out however they dressed themselves. They get to answer one question. Simon will provide the questions on the fly. She’s witty, so there will be plenty of entertainment there. Paula can judge the answers…”oh he seems like he’s just so nice.” And Randy will checkout their bods. No biceps, no second show! Big belly, bye bye.
The second show will consist of some sort of conversation requirement. This one can be handled by Randy. She’ll be good at interviewing the guys. She can bring hubby in as a guest to try and make the guys more at ease. Simon will still be allowed to taunt them - especially if they start sounding pompous or too slick. Paula can pick out their clothes for that show and the next.
The third and final show will consist of ….you guessed it a talent portion. Yeah, we all know anyone who plays guitar will win! But, hopefully they’ll have a nice body, be dressed well and able to hold a conversation.
Then, we’ll have found my Abercrombie!
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