Insecurities revealed

So I sent PJ a note. I gave him a little background about how much damage the lying, cheating ex did and how my friends really helped to carry me and then walk with me while I healed. I told him about how I have moments of extreme insecurity. I wrote all of this because I wanted him to understand the odd behavior I exhibit at times. I also wrote it because I care tremendously about him. If he felt I was no longer the person he fell in love with or there was just too much crazy to deal with, I wanted him to know now and have a way to “opt out”. So I wrote it and sent it and then waited. It was hard waiting on his reply. I was terrified he’d take the easy way out.

But instead he told me he’s always known I was competent, smart, funny and fun. And only recently, has he come to realize how confident and independent I am. Even though he was not surprised -- he always knew I had a lot of will.

He told me how sorry he was about the past but he was glad I told him about it. He feels that trust is the most important thing. And he was glad I could trust him with my feelings. He understood how hard what I went through was and that if I actually want to talk about it, he was more than willing to listen. He acknowledged that we all have our moments of extreme insecurity, and they do pass, but it's probably better to talk about them. Finally he embraced my crazy and said it was on his list of "perfect woman" characteristics.

Talk about saying all the right things to make me feel better. It kills me that I have these very low valleys of insecurity…when generally I think I’m great (haha). But I always thought that having a partner who completely understood it but still thought I was awesome was just too much to ask for. Talk about having the “perfect” for me characteristics! He seems to possess them all.