Wine and dinner

So any way here’s how it goes. PB texts me morning of our date asking if we were still on and if I had planned something for us to do. I was a bit put out by it, thinking it was a hell of a lot of pressure to be put on me, asking me to figure out things last minute. I debate just telling him I don’t feel like hanging out…really because I didn’t feel like coming up with something for a date. I mean, I’m the chick already. One of the few advantages I have in life is the guy has to ask me out and pick out the entertainment…at least in the short term beginning of the relationship (probably until you sleep with them – ha!). There are few other advantages to being a chick in this world and I want to keep every one I have!

So in conversations with my girls, I came up with the idea to tell him I thought we were just going to do what he had planned for last week. I knew full well he was on my side of town last week meeting up with a friend and that is why he had wanted to hang out over here. I figured he’d balk at the idea and have to come up with something of his own. Instead, he just texted back, “perfect!”. Oh..well at least I could go home, change and be on my side of town after the date.

He ended up picking me up at my house. One of “my girls” was there when he got there. Weird thing is, he never asked about her. I kinda like that he doesn’t pry. It seems a little unnatural, but I like it never the less. We drove to the historic part of town and parked. We walked down the street to a restaurant that I had chosen, in part to what he said he wanted to eat and in part because they had ½ off bottles of wine with dinner.

We had a really nice time at dinner. He likes wine as much as I do and seems to know a bit about it. He talked about a wine bar/restaurant that I had heard about before, from other people as being a great place to go. I’m not sure what else we talked about but we seemed to pass away about 3 hours. Yeah, 3 hours. He picked up the tab telling me I could get the next one. We’ll see if he meant it, but I’m pretty sure he did. Back at my place, he walked me to the door. I let him kiss me goodnight. He kisses really well and found that spot on my neck (just with his hand)…that was a bit unnerving. Most guys don’t find that spot so quickly, if ever. Not sure he knew it’s affect on me. But, I definitely got chills from it.

I made sure I had a good talking with myself afterwards…reminding myself that was purely physical. And, in general, he is still a bit annoying. That is, he is annoying to make plans with. Once the plans are finalized, we seem to have a really nice time. But still, there are things that make it not right for me. Plus, I just don’t trust his intentions.

He asked me out for Friday. I have tentative plans and he told me if they fell through, to let him know. I’m debating if I want to go out with him on Friday. Of course, he didn’t offer up anything, either.

I feel like I’m not really ready to date again. I am so madly in love with PJ and no one ever seems to measure up. My friend told me it was ludicrous to compare other guys to someone who broke my heart. But maybe that is the problem. He did break my heart and because of it, anyone who isn’t all he was won't be capable of being able to get a glimpse of my heart. It’s like it’s not there for the taking any more.

I read the words of a song that I really like. It’s musical composition is so pretty. I hadn’t really read the words too closely and they may have been written for a different reason. But, they describe me right now…

Ah Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in
Are you aware the shape im in
My hands they shake my head it spinsA
h Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in

Three words that became hard to say
I and love and you
What you were then, I am today
Look at the things I do