It is what it is

I’m supposed to be doing work…but can’t focus. I have spring fever. Only one week until the official first day of spring but the weather outside is delightful! It is a beautiful, warm sunshiny day! I took two cars for test drives. I was looking at buying an Acura but they just don’t fit me like the Civics do.  So, I'll stick with the tried and true.  Although this time, I’m thinking of going the used car route. My Civic has over 225k on it – so I know that they will last that long. Might as well spend half the money and still have a car that will last a good 8-9 years. 

I gave up dating men (again) and it doesn’t seem to be going too well. As soon as I claimed I had given up dating, I met a musician. He used to work at my company doing multimedia stuff. He’s a few years older than me, but still in great shape (no expanding waistline that seems to accompany over ½ the mid-life men). Musician has a part time “day” job and plays piano and sings in the evenings. I was too busy this past week to get together with him. I might get together with him next week.

I’ve been hanging out with X, the Preacher and the Teacher. Saturday night was the Teacher’s birthday. I met her boyfriend, the Terrorist. We shouldn’t joke about his nickname – since he is probably on a “watch list” due to his ethnicity. He is one of the coolest guys I've ever met, though.  Great sense of humor, generous, smart and most importantly, he is madly in love with the Teacher. Yay for them! Any way, it was an interesting evening. Blackie and the frail Blondie were both there…two of the girls that X flirts with. This past week Blackie outwardly asked him to be Friends with Benefits. X turned her down. Or so that is what the Preacher told me. I do believe he did - because Saturday night he danced with me the whole night. He spent some time with Blondie, but pulled me out to dance with him the whole time. Then, when he asked folks back to spend the night at his house and Blackie said yes, he convinced me to go too. I took the downstairs couch…I had early morning plans on Sunday and wanted to leave without disturbing anyone. Blackie took the air matress in X's son's room; Blondie took X's king size bed.   X slept on the floor in the living room next to me. I offered up the couch and said I’d take the love seat but he declined. He gave me hell for “sneaking out” without saying goodbye. I told him, “I said good bye; I rubbed your cheek, kissed your forehead and then a gave a quick rub of the private parts as I covered you with the blanket.” He believed me for a second.

Monday, after trivia, X and Preacher asked me to hang out with them. It was midnight and I should have went home. X and Preacher are insomniacs. Preacher had drank coffee and knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. They peer pressured me into staying out with them. LOL. We went back to X’s house and drank til after 4 a.m. I am too old for that crap! Especially since I’m not an insomniac! I laid down on the couch around 4 a.m. – X and Preacher were still up. When she left, he brought me upstairs to sleep with him. When I got up to leave in the morning, he told me to stay. What is it about insomniacs where they can finally sleep in the morning?? I climbed back into bed to say good bye and he pulled me down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me from leaving. His arms are so nice – soft, strong, and cut perfectly. I could have laid in his arms for hours…except…1. I had to go to work and 2. I know better. Actually if 2 didn’t exist, I would have ignored one. X is still hung up on his ex. And, I will not go there again – EVER! I will never give my heart (and body) to a man who isn’t completely ready for a new love. As much as I would have loved to have fallen back to sleep in his arms, woke up next to him and spent the few hours exploring his body, I know it is the wrong thing to do. I also know, the only reason he pulled me to dance with him and had me in his bed is he knows I know these things about him and he knows I won’t misconstrue his action and intentions. Yes, it is f-ed up! But, alas, it is what it is!