dating...

Been doing the online dating and I'm getting tired of the initial emails, etc. I feel like a used care salesman. Here's my ad... This baby is a classic. She's a bit older but you can tell she has definitely been garage kept. Very peppy and makes the curves fun to handle. Photos don't do her justice. You must see her in person to appreciate her exterior as well as interior beauty.

Batting 400

So I wonder these days what everyone else’s batting average is when it comes to meeting guys in bars and then having them “call”. So I started keeping track and right now my average is 400. Here are the stories to go with the statistics…

First one was about a year ago. Faithful blog readers first met him in retarded or not, you be the judge. I won’t go into how he turned out (read the past if you want) but it started out promising. Las tres amigas were out watching my friend’s band. We were having quite the lovely time. SZ was quite flirtatious and funny all evening. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. I didn’t take his. He actually called the very next day. We went out several times. I was one for one!

Number two… I think. I can’t really remember any others in between so, when I went to NYC this past May, I’ll count DC boy as number two. I was having a fabulous time at my sister’s bachelorette party. DC boy has been drinking and wants us to hang with him. Not going to happen… I’m busy here partying with my sis. I tell him I don’t do random out of town hook ups. He tells me he from near my town. He asks for my number. I call his phone from mine. He texts me two more times that evening, trying to get me to give up my new location. I never hear from him again. I guess I coulda called, but I was pretty drunk and not sure he'd be worth it. Batting average drops to 500.

Number three. I’m out on a Friday night and I look absolutely rocking. At least 3 different guys show interest in me – so I’m pretty sure I was looking good. Like an absolute fool, I listen to my friends and chat with the player. My gut told me he was a sleaze but the alcohol silenced the gut. I went home and he wasn’t invited. But we exchanged numbers as he walked me to the car. Got a few stupid texts from him later that night asking me if I was thinking of him and if he could come over. Ugh! I was glad he never called again. But it dropped my average to 333.

Number four. It was a low key evening listening to music with BFE. DB keeps checking me out. Cute enough. He eventually drinks up enough courage to sit down. Sits pretty close to me and keeps touching me. He likes the same music and some of the same geeky movies as me. We seem to have a few other things in common, too. I’m not swooned by him, but think we could have a good time. He walks me outside and doesn’t even try to take me home. Suggests getting together the next day or some time soon. We exchange numbers. I was actually surprised and a little disappointed DB didn’t call. Average drops to 250!

Number five. I was out celebrating another year of existence on this dreadful planet. He’s cute enough and very brave. Looks at me smiles and then after I smile back, he heads over to talk. Even if he wasn’t cute, I’d go out with him just for having a pair! He’s a bit dorky but we have a lot of similar interests. We talk all evening long. He walks me to the car and tells me to call him after church so we can go hiking the next day. So maybe this doesn’t count as a “call”. But, he answers when I call and we go out. So I’m counting it as a hit. Batting average = 400.

Hmmm…either I need to go out to more bars or I need to find somewhere else to meet guys!

Origin: I don't give a rat's a$$

So as promised…not really to you dear reader, but for my own enjoyment, I looked up the origin to giving a rat’s ass and here are the top contenders (insert drum roll here – not literally. You need to use your imagination. Man oh man, has the computer world really created people who can’t use their imagination. Hear it now? that’s better)….

This is very likely to be one of many 'I don't give a...' variants. Animals get used for all sorts of things. Here, in the UK, it used to be 'as sick as a dog'. That's now out of date and the current phrase is 'sick as a parrot' - without, I may add, any evidence whatsoever that parrots are particularly sick. It's all 'Fashion'.
This is my least favorite explanation because well, the writer is from the UK and talks about Fashion…nuff said!

Have you forgotten that the hoot-owl's hoot is used in the same manner?"I don't give a hoot about the man in your moon." "I don't give a rat's ass about ..." See? Same idea. Owls get picked on, too.
Another animal one. Not bad but well, not good either.

It's just general slang that started up sometime during the 20th century. While nobody knows for sure how it came about, it's believed that a rat was used in the expression because of the way people view the rodent (annoying and small).
Better…more along the lines of what I’m thinking when I write it.

But the winner is…
When the term was first coined, presumably a rat's ass was the least valuable thing that the speaker could possibly imagine. If the subject of a sentence doesn't even "give a rat's ass" about something, the implication is that he or she certainly wouldn't give more valuable things, such as concern, or a second thought to the of the sentence.

This is what boredom with my life has reduced me too. Eeee gads!!!!

Quiet doesn't mean content

I’ve been quiet lately. That’s what happens when I get depressed. I withdraw from everyone and hide inside my shell. Not sure what I’m depressed about. I guess I’m just bored with my life and most things in it.

Work is okay. Not fabulous. The boss is okay. I still don’t like him, but I keep trying to find redeeming qualities. One important, actually the most important, overwhelming piece of info is his boss, our group VP, likes him. Therefore, thus, hence, I must not give my boss cause to not like me. Trying to find redeeming qualities is not only the Christian thing to do (and should truly be reason enough) but is also the save my butt thing to do. It’s just hard to do because the guy is quite the idiot. But, I’ve learned to be a patient person – not something I expected would be so difficult when I prayed for it!!!! But, I have and I will use this patience to help me. But in the mean time, work is blah.

Same goes for personal life. It’s two fold and intertwined. I’ll start with the man scene. It sucks. Not just blah. It sucks!!!! Any time I meet a man I find physically attractive, he is too young to have a relationship with. Any time I find a man old enough, who is intellectually attractive, there is not a whole lot of physical attraction. And, damn it, I'm trying the you need to give it time to let it grow baloney I've been fed. It is a very, very rare occasion I meet a man my age, who is physically and intellectually attractive. SUCKS friggin big time!!!! I’d give up on the finding a man issue except the other part of my personal life is pretty dismal, too.

I’ve discovered that most of my friends aren’t very good at being friends that help out during these times of feeling blah. There are a few and one of them is surprising. But, in general, I think all my friends are takers. If I don’t make an effort to see them, if I don’t plan something, if I don’t ask, it doesn’t happen. Even if I ask and they say yes, it doesn’t always happen. I feel like I’m the last grain of rice on their plate. If nothing else is going on in their life, if no better plans come up, then they’ll hang out with me. But, no commitment will be made, no effort to make a plan and ask me to join, etc. Actually one person is giving me the cold shoulder because I don’t email long or interesting enough emails to him. It is a hoot. I told him I was depressed, bummed about my life and didn’t feel up to writing long emails about my evening, etc…rehashing the ennui that has taken over my life. It just pissed him off and he’s been a whiney bitch ever since. I'm not asking to be coddled, just for a break. Obviously, he doesn't know how to give one!

So, I guess this all comes with one week til my b-day. And, BFE wants to plan something for me. She is trying to figure out what to do and wants my input. All I can tell her is I don’t give a rat’s ass (where did that phrase come from - note to self, must look into that) if we do anything at all. Don’t care if I get a stinking present, drink, cake or happy b-day next week. I really don’t. You know how some people say, “Oh I don’t care. Whatever you want is fine,” but what they really mean is “do something fabulous for me or I’ll be upset.” Yeah, well this isn’t me right now. I really truly without a doubt - don’t care.

I’m tired of planning, doing and getting nothing back. I’m tired of feeling blah and being disappointed. I’m tired of the world and all the crappy people in it. I give up. I don’t feel like dancing in the f-ing rain. K? I just want to hole up in my cocoon and tell everyone else to go dance in the rain. And, if they happen to find a nice, attractive, intelligent man, who is my age, they should put down the lysergic acid diethylamide and take a step back, because they are obviously hallucinating.

So, here is my birthday wish list... this desire to find someone worthwhile in my life to go away and for me understand why it is so difficult to find friends who can be there for me like I try to be there for them. Oh yeah, while I’m at it, how ‘bout some world peace!!!!!

Last of the Marathon date week.

Last night was the fifth date in seven days. It was the first date with the Health Consultant. He was nice. Not nice in the kiss of death nice way that I usually say to C2 meaning he was nice but he’ll never put his paws on my body. But nice in the way of refreshing, down to earth, intelligent, interesting… he was nice to hang out with. He is 6’ tall (++), nice eyes and cute face (+). He was only a little dorky and a bit on edge - first dates with me do that to guys. I can always see it in their eyes when they meet me. Funny how that works. I wonder what they see in my eyes - probably not much. I’m not all that good at poker face during poker, but poker face otherwise…I got it down. Pissed off at the conference room table – upper echelon will never know. Ready to pounce on a co-worker – they never know til I’m done (poor unsuspecting blokes). A good or bad date – they rarely know what to think. Not that I do it on purpose. My demeaner is just a reflection of them, usually, I guess.

Any way, we had a lovely time chatting, eating and drinking. He’s got a lurid past that I won’t tell you about - to respect his privacy. Not that it is all that bad, but just something that bugs him- as it does everyone I know who is in that situation. But that isn’t my concern. His emotional health is. So, I wrote him today about it. He indicated I was right…friends first, take it slow, etc.

He’s pretty busy for the next several weeks. I’m not sure I feel like waiting around. Not sure his emotional instability is worth it. We do have a lot in common. He kind of is the male version of me in a Ying/Yang sort of way. He has a well developed feminine side without losing his masculinity. Flip the genders and that’s me. That’s what makes me want to wait. So, I guess I’ll keep emailing. I’m not that patient, though. I say I want to take things slow. But, I don't want to wait. Daddy, I want an Oompa-loompa and I want one NOW!!!!

I believe that attitude is what started the Abercrombie Itch search discussion!

My Abercrombie Search.

I will be conducting my own American Idol search. We will call it the Abercrombie to Scratch my Itch search. This was not my idea but, I LOVE it, named it, and have embellished on it.

It started out innocently enough. I was telling M&M that I was tired of being in this draught. He explained to me that I needed a FB- knowing full well it’s not something my psyche can handle. He likes to taunt me! I told him FBs weren’t that easy to come by (pun intended as well!). So M&M comes up with the initial plan. He and my two BFF will conduct the search.

We have the perfect panel. R can be the cold hearted bitch who taunts the male contestants. No stretch for her as she does this on a regular basis. And, she derives great pleasure from it. She is our Simon. Then there is M&M, he just loves every guy I describe to him. Oh, he sounds nice, promising, etc. Are you excited about your date? He is just so sugary sweet and likes to shop. No he’s not gay but he’ll play one on TV. He’ll be my Paula. Then there is C2. She knows me like no one else. She’s level headed - knows when to plug her nose and say you stink. And knows when to give the sideways glance and say he’s fi-ine. She’ll be our Randy. It’s perfect. My panel is just as ethnically diverse. White man, wet back marine and a half-breed.

The first show will just be the men parading out however they dressed themselves. They get to answer one question. Simon will provide the questions on the fly. She’s witty, so there will be plenty of entertainment there. Paula can judge the answers…”oh he seems like he’s just so nice.” And Randy will checkout their bods. No biceps, no second show! Big belly, bye bye.

The second show will consist of some sort of conversation requirement. This one can be handled by Randy. She’ll be good at interviewing the guys. She can bring hubby in as a guest to try and make the guys more at ease. Simon will still be allowed to taunt them - especially if they start sounding pompous or too slick. Paula can pick out their clothes for that show and the next.

The third and final show will consist of ….you guessed it a talent portion. Yeah, we all know anyone who plays guitar will win! But, hopefully they’ll have a nice body, be dressed well and able to hold a conversation.

Then, we’ll have found my Abercrombie!

Four dates in five days

So, I've been on four dates, with four different guys, in five days. To see the first date - check out date number two with the Genius as outlined in the epilogue. I'm too lazy to write about it again.

So on Thursday, I was on date number two with...need a nickname here. Nick names are so hard to come up with. It's easier when my friends are around to do the job. The cold hearted bitch is so good at this! The fact that nothing stands out about his personality makes it even harder. Oh, Vanilla works. Plus, I like vanilla ice cream, so it isn't like it's derogatory. Vanilla was early and waiting for me at the pool table. He had already gotten a drink - shows confidence (+). I got a water. I needed to rehydrate as I was fresh from a work out - something C2 told me was not good. We played pool and at first I was very impressed and even intimidated by his playing. But it turned out that either he wasn't that good or he lowered his level of playing because I wont the second game. I was bored by the third game. I had only one beer and wasn't into playing. It's more fun with more people around or playing doubles. We had a nice time. No red flags. He was polite, payed for appetizers and the game. We decided to go out for sushi. He didn't mind when I was rude enough to take the call during dinner (+). I tried to keep it brief. He walked me to my car (+). A little kiss good night. No rockets, stares or excitement on my part. Probably because he's a little bit over weight. Not so much the body but in the face. I'm a face person. I like a guy with a pretty face and hard body. Lean is even good, as long as the face is pretty. But he doesn't have much of either. We had a lot of fun. We laughed alot. But there was no chemistry on my part - zip, zero, zilch, nada. Maybe it will build, maybe not. I'll have a couple more dates with him, but I'm afraid it will probably only lead to friendship. I know I'll like being his friend, though.

Friday night I had a first date with ADHD. I can't really think of a better name for him. He is definitely ADHD or gave that appearance, so works for me. I met him down town -where he lives, works and plays. He planned the whole evening (+). Traffic was non-existant, so I made it in record time. he wasn't there yet but I like wandering around the area - so I did. Then I called and he said he'd be right there. Hadn't expected me yet.
He shows up. Now why did I think he'd the 6' tall with big biceps. I gotta check my facts again. My brain must be fried. No...he was maybe 5'6" with average arms (-). But he did have a pretty face (+). He had a belly, too (-). He was very chatty - not sure if that one is a plus or a minus. I did have a lovely time with him. C2 aka my body guard was out of town for the weekend. He and I had a chat earlier about her wanting to keep tabs on me, how she likes to follow me around when I go on first dates, etc. Well, the funny part is while we were eating dinner, I saw my friend Amazon there. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had to walk over and say hi. We hadn't chatted in a bit due to life getting in the way. So of course later, she stopped at our table to say bye (i.e. check him out). Then, when we were walking back to the coffee shop, another friend of mine went jogging by and yelled hi to me. I hadn't seen her in almost a year! I told him I had spies watching me every where I went. I have to wonder what he was thinking. I left the date by 9:30. Had to get home to attend to the pup but also was just exhausted by his energy -the issue with being around someone ADHD. Yeah I'll go out with him again. He has a good sense of humor and is intersting. Hopefully he'll mellow, though.

Tonight I had the fourth date in five days. It was a first date and a horrible dud. Lasted about 2 hours. He wasn't all that interesting, handsome or even worth applying a nickname too. Hopefully he won't call.

Big BBQ tomorrow. Oh and then date 5 in 7 days with yet another guy. One of these guys has to be cute, right????? Ugh! Back to drooling over Rising Sun and Marley at the gym. Oh, this one new guy talked to me on Thursday. He was tall and relatively cute and even looked like he might be close to my age. Plus, he plays volleyball. Damn, can't remember his name. That's okay, guys seem to like airhead rather than brilliant (hee hee) women like me.

I'm tired. Sleepy time. Til we chat again!