Confessions

#1 Same old story

So these all start the same...I met this guy... and well, I thought he was adorable. Not just in the physical way, but adorable in his exuberance on life, how excited he got about everything (this should have been my first clue!). He had dark hair and blue eyes and an adorable body. He was an outrageous flirt. He pointed out a group of nerdy girls and told me how he liked nerdy girls. I was wondering if he thought I was in the nerdy girl category. I don't' think I looked that nerdy so, probably not. I am nerdy though, so that was the only reason I wondered. His friend was really sweet. We all talked for a long time. He touched me when he talked to me. It's funny how I really like that in some people, but can't stand it in others. I liked it from him...after all he was so dang adorable.

At one point in the evening, he asked me with utter dismay, "are you leaving?" I had been thinking about it. I had been there much longer than planned and was getting my notorious headache from being around cigarettes, alcohol and loud music for too long. I said, no and stayed for awhile longer. Then he brought up the subject of age - his. Kinda odd in a guy, but it was more a long the line of "you'll never guess how old I am". "Good," I thought, "cuz I was wondering if you were under my lower age limit." So I told him, "give me your hand." No, I wasn't trying to hold his hand. Just the hands are the best indicator of age out there. I had already checked his out, and they seemed close to the cut off age. For his personality, I was willing to swing a little low. Any way, I guessed my lower (than usual) limit. He said no, incredulously. Oooh, good sign, he might be older. I went up to the cutoff age, wrong again! Damn, younger? Yeah. A full three years younger than my already lowered limit. No way in a gamillion (perfect use of gamillion, don't you think C2) years, I'd go that low. How utterly depressing. :(

Did I let him see my disappointment? Of course not! (I've learned that emotional poker face well!) Did I continue to flirt with him the rest of the time I was there? hell yeah. Did my friend (who was a guy and wants me desperately) tell him after I left? Yeah, probably the little "cock block". But, when I did finally leave, about an hour after the wind was taken from my sail, he did give me a hug and say"you aren't leaving already?" (yeah, had my jacket on). Then, as I walked out, he gave me another hug and said, "I hope I get to see you again." So freakin adorable, I just wanted to take him home with me. Yeah, I know, at that age, that's all he really wanted any way. Sigh. Why do I like 'em so young????

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#2 In LOVE again

I'm in love again. This time it is with my new masseuse, Dave. He has fabulous hands.

He actually read my sheet you have to fill out prior to a massage and worked on my trouble spots for longer than the non-trouble spots.

He understands my body and was able to make me feel fabulous.

He understands teens too. When I told him I'll be lucky if I don't kill my daughter, he told me if I didn't kill her when she was 13, 14, 15 or 16, then I won't ever. He's right, she has definitely turned the corner.

After he tickled my left calf, he didn't do the same massage on my right. He said feeling ticklish is a pain response. He is right!

He massaged my head, hands and feet just the right amount.

He did everything right. He was the best I ever had (masseuse that is).

I'm going to see him again. I'm definitely in love!

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#3 Free - maybe, hopefully

I am absolutely thrilled to find out a sexy friend of mine and his gf are "on a break" possibly about to end it for good. I didn't like her. I knew her before she and he met and thought she was a bit of a self indulgent, arrogant, high maintenance bioche. Plus, I really like him. The one time we might have had a go at it, I screwed it up. Probably because a) I was not ready for a relationship and b) I wasn't sure he was interested in anything more than friendship. He is one of the few guys I know who actually has girls for friends. Most guys I know only seem to be my friend if a) they are married or b) are trying to get me in bed (I'm not as naive as I act) or c) both (although, I truly like to believe none of them fall into this category, as they know I will NOT be a part of such a thing.

Any way, so he and I have stayed friends. He had decided prior to dating the current (hopefully ex) gf, that he was ready to settle down with a girl for a bit. Kind of like, the next girl that comes along that I get along with, I'll be settling down with. And, along came her. I know one or two of his other friends that didn't like her either, but he seemed smitten and I figured he saw in her something we all were missing. So, my fabulous friend calls me last night with the latest news that they might be not just taking the break but done for good. He even went to say, "I could take it or leave it." So, either he is full of bull poopies or he is crazy if they end up decided to stay together. Today is the day they make the decision. And, I am hoping that they end it. In part because I don't want to see him settle with someone I don't like and who he could take or leave. But, in part (the confession) I want him. I have for a long time and think it sucks that our timing never worked out. He actually told my fabulous friend that I could date younger guys because I had a great body. Woo hoo! He thinks I'm hot. Loving that. But, I think I've always known he thought that. I asked her if she told him to dump the girl and come make mama happy. She didn't. :( But, she did keep my secret safe from him.
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#4 My safe secret

I'm going overseas to commit Tom foolery. I'm actually enjoying the planning and flirty texts with Tom. But Tom and my sexy friends are friends. Tom is how I messed things up with my sexy friend. I didn't know the status my sexy friend's relationship when I made the reservation to go see Tom. Tom and I stayed friends after we broke up, but my sexy friend always thought there was more to my liking Tom after. I'm not so sure about that. Tom is outrageously charming, good looking and fun to be around. But, he's not relationship material. Plus, he moved back across the pond... I had bet him he was a short timer when he was here. I won the bet by more than a year! He's been back over there about 9 months and in part, I just wanted some change from my boring life. I thought a trip abroad would be fun. And, he didn't believe I'd actually make the trip. I think it is the didn't believe I'd (almost dared me to) make the trip, is probably the reason I booked it. I've been excited, knowing we'll have a lovely time.

Now, of course, I'm thinking it may have been a mistake. But, there are too many "ifs" that have to happen for me to really think it is a bad idea. If sexy does actually end it with gf for good. If sexy actually is interested in me for more than a friend. If sexy really could take it or leave it. If sexy is in the right state of mind for a relationship. If sexy finds out I'm going to see Tom. Lot's of "ifs" and I'm not that lucky. I usually lose the coin toss. So, I'll probably leave in a couple weeks without having to worry about screwing things up with sexy.