what's up?

It was a rough weekend for me.  My stomach is bothering me.  It has for a week now.  I thought perhaps it was just a bug, but now that it has lasted this long, I am rethininking the situation. I know my allergies are crazy and sinuses draining...that can contribute to my stomach problem. But, I also noticed I've been irritable and cranky and had some hot flashes last night.  I'm not so sure why I'm such an idiot and always forget to think about it, but probably hormones....duh!  I'm not due to see the doc again for a few months, so I'll wait it out.  If I go another few weeks with the same issues, then I'll call.  I'm going to try and increase exercise in the mean time. For some reason, that always helps.

So, of course, with feeling sick, I didn't get half of what i wanted done over the weekend.  Ugh!  It rained on Saturday and was too windy on Sunday to play with my new toy.  Bummer.  But, this week is supposed to be good.  So maybe one day, I'll blow off work...if I was sure Friday would be a good day, I'd take it off.  We used to have Good Friday off, but this year was given a floating holiday for it.  I'm thinking of taking it then any way.

So everything I promised you.  Last week, I found daffodills in a bag in the garage when I was cleaning out to make room for my vroom vroom. They were blooming in the bag, which was buried under junk.  They are mom's favorite.  It made me think of her.  Lil' Sis would say it was mom saying hi.  If so, her message would be to despite all the adversity around me, continue to be who I am and show my beauty.  I'm going with that.  So on Monday, I prepped an area and put all the plants in the ground.  I highly doubt they will do much this year (not all had blooms, most had full stalks though), but they are now in "mom's garden".   I cried as I planted them.  But remembered how sad I was a few weeks ago when I saw some daffodills and didn't know what I could do to send some to mom.  Problem solved.  Thanks big G.

Which reminds me.  I visited a church on Sunday.  It is the big non-denominational one in the area and I hated it.  I knew I would.  I got lost in the parking lot...seriously, I did.  Ended up going the wrong way, etc.  The music was well done but didn't move me.  The pastor was a good speaker, though.  But I just couldn't handle the crowds and the thought of dealing with 15 minutes to leave the parking lot (without getting lost) and then 20 minutes to get home, every week.  They do have excellent single's small groups, but I'm not convinced it is the place for me.  I know I shouldn't get discouraged, but I am already.

I asked YBBK to go to the concert with me on Friday.  I had already invited him and felt bad not taking him.  And, also knew, I probably wouldn't have as much fun with anyone else.  He and I get along so well.  We hang out as friends and it feels good.  Every time I see him, I get a warm feeling.  I know I still love him but I also believe he doesn't love me the way he'd need to for us to have a long term relationship.  I still don't get why.  But then again, emotions aren't logical.  I'm just not "it" for him.  So, I am healing my heart.  I haven't been writing...but keeping busy in other ways.  Almost too busy.  My friend, Tex, tells me I'm running myself ragged and that is why I was sick this weekend.  Perhpas she is right.

I did a couple photo shoots this weekend.  I screwed up with one and brought the wrong lens.  Ugh!  But the photos came out fine.  The other one, I used my macro lens.  I haven't downloaded yet.  It will be fun to see how they came out.  I had planned to do that yesterday or Saturday, but couldn't get motivated to do so.  Stupid hormones!

PB has been texting me, again.  I finally told him he was too young for me and I wasn't interested.  He texted back, "you think I'm too young?"  Then I asked his age.  I had estimated a little under what he told me.  I don't doubt he lied because guys lie to me all the time.  I told him how old I was (11 years his senior!).  He asked me if I ever felt he was too young when we were hanging out.  It doesn't.  I just know that the age difference is ridiculous and I'm not putting my heart on the line in such a situation.  He is a very good looking, smart, fun guy.  I'm not even sure what it is about me that he is so wrapped up about...other than possibly being a challenge for him.   I actually wrote to him, "I don't see this relationship ever going any where, so spending time with you is a waste."  When I told M&M about it, he told me it was good to see the Ice Queen was back.   I'm just being honest.  PB needs to find someone his own age.   Plus, I'm so not interested in dating right now.  My heart just isn't available. 

I need to start writing more...I keep saying it but it just doesn't seem to happen.  I'm happy when I write.  I have a funny story about Boo.  She is an excellent source of entertainment in my writing.  She is so adorable in how ridiculous she can be.  Of course, I worry constantly about her.  I had a bad dream the other night that she was struggling in school.  Just writing that makes me stomach turn.  I'm not sure how to "cut the apron strings" as my coworker tells me to do.  He teases me, "you women are all the same.  You want to mother them and protect them forever.  You and my wife have to cut the apron strings!  Just cut 'em!"  Of course, he is the one who still fixes his kid's cars all the time and goes to "rescue" them any time they have a mechanical issue.  

Okay, so that is my "data dump".  I'll try to write more consistently.  Hahaha....