Ghosts of relationships past

Saturday night was an interesting one. Besides being asked about Firsty by half of my gfs, a three of my favorite ghosts of past were there.

First was PG. He shows up in line behind me and says my name. I hug him and then realize he is with a girl. I quickly pull away and turn back around. She says my name and I realize it is one of my new friends…Spunky. She is a little pip who’s cute and funny and maybe even smart – haven’t figured out that last part yet but I think she is brighter than the average female in the Sailing town social group. Any way, I realize it is her and feel bad for snubbing her. She is all excited she is on a date with PG. Later in the evening, he is ignoring her and talking to all the other women. He does seem to fashion himself quite the ladies man…maybe not but he does like talking to all the other women and she is upset. I don’t blame her for feeling snubbed but instead of just having a good time without him, she gets upset. Now, it was her idea to go to the venue in the first place but I think she expected since he decided to take her, he was going to pay attention to her. It reminded me of why I got exasperated with hanging out with him. So sweet and attentive when he wants to be but easily distracted by a pretty face. Any way, I still like PG as a person and wish him the best. I adore Spunky and hope it works out the best for both of them. But, it was confirming to see that he is the way he is and it wasn’t something wrong with me that made him act that way when we hung out.

Second was Mainer. I ignored him. X ignored him (for the most part). If Preacher and Sparkle were there, they’d have ignored him. I have no desire to interact with him. I have no desire to have him any where in my life. I don’t wish him harm and am glad to see he is working things out with his girl. But I don’t want anything to do with him. I actually instinctively protected him or maybe it was X. But at one point, X looks at Mainer and says, “You ready?! Let’s go Mainer!” I jumped in front of X, put my hands on his (oh so lovely) chest and said, “No.” He said part to me and part to Mainer, “I think it’s time.” He must have saw the panic in my face because X looked down, smiled and said, “Don’t worry.” X is tall, lean and athletic; Mainer is not. X is capable of fighting. I could kick Mainer’s butt with one hand tied behind my back. X wouldn’t ever do anything to him. But, it totally freaked me out – at the time. It’s funny now. X was just joking. I never did look at Mainer’s face to see what he thought.

Third was YBBK. I don’t get him. One minute he acts like he wants to be friends and the next minute he takes this fake condescending tone with me. As if our relationship is completely strained. I don’t understand why he acts and speaks like that. I can’t even describe it. But it is the way he says hello… like he has to. Not like he is actually glad to see me. I guess that does describe it. Granted I don’t want to open myself up to him and be hurt by the way he has treated me in the past, but I wouldn’t mind being friendly toward him. But he acts like he only says hi to save face. It makes it so hard to be around him. I do enjoy his company when he isn’t putting on an act. I just don’t understand why he feels the need to act that way.

Any way, besides all that, I had a lovely time Saturday night. Dancing like a fool. X was his usual flirtatious self with me and about 4 other women. I do adore him. He’s smart and cute and quite the dancer. And, he is protective and caring toward me. But, I don’t think he is ready to settle down and I don’t want to play games. So we just love on each other as friends and both seem quite happy about it. Although, when I asked him the good food or good sex question, X said, "I don't really care about eating that much."  He is so freaking cute.  Timing is everything…sigh.